The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

Letter to the Editor: In response to inaccessibility on campus
Letter to the Editor: In response to inaccessibility on campus
by Advocacy, Community, Education and Support (ACES), Special to The Simpsonian • March 1, 2024

Dear Editor, We write in response to an article published February 14, 2024, in The Simpsonian titled, “No disabled students need apply:...

Retraction and update: After Midnight review
Retraction and update: "After Midnight" review
by Maggie Fitzpatrick, Staff Reporter • February 28, 2024

In my previous review of the late-night show "After Midnight", I stated that comedian Matt Walsh, who was a guest on the show, is “a prominent...

SCTV 2/28/24
by Aaron Wilkins and Sam HyingFebruary 28, 2024

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Aries: Your impulsive nature reaches new heights today; consider counting to ten before starting that marshmallow catapult competition.

Taurus: Embrace your stubborn side; it might just lead you to the perfect hiding spot when the world tries to interrupt your Netflix marathon.

Gemini: Your multitasking skills hit superhero levels, but juggling three conversations and a snack may result in accidental salsa spillage.

Cancer: Your emotional depth is as vast as the ocean, but remember, not everyone appreciates receiving a heartfelt letter via carrier crab.

Leo: Your charisma is off the charts, so put on your invisible crown and strut through the day like the majestic llama you were born to be.

Virgo: Channel your inner detective; just because your keys are in the fridge doesn’t mean the universe is plotting against you (probably).

Libra: Your indecisiveness has reached peak levels – even your pet rock is giving you judgmental looks for taking too long to choose its outfit.

Scorpio: Your mysterious aura is so intense that even Siri can’t predict what you’ll do next. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Sagittarius: Adventure calls, but remember, not every quest requires a passport, especially if it involves finding the TV remote you misplaced three days ago.

Capricorn: Your ambitious spirit is commendable, but attempting to organize your sock drawer by color, size, and fabric might be a tad overzealous.

Aquarius: Your innovative ideas flow like a leaky faucet: creative but slightly annoying to anyone trying to have a serious conversation with you.

Pisces: Embrace your dreamy side, but be careful not to walk into too many walls while chasing those imaginary butterflies.

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Kenzie Van Haaften, Staff Reporter

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