The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

Photo from the Des Moines Register
Former Simpson professor sentenced to 10 years
by Kenzie Van Haaften, Editor-in-chief • April 26, 2024

Gowun Park, a former assistant professor of economics at Simpson who faced kidnapping and murder charges back in 2020, pled guilty on Thursday,...

Auditing changes lead to missing funds and mass confusion
Auditing changes lead to missing funds and mass confusion
by Ryan Magalhães, Feature Editor • April 26, 2024

Several faculty advisors realized last week that their organization’s accounts did not have the funds that they expected. This left some organizations...

Review: The Tortured Poets Department
Review: "The Tortured Poets Department"
by Kyle Werner, Managing Editor & Social Media Manager • April 19, 2024

Well, hello there, fellow tortured poets. I’m glad you’re here. At least “here” on The Simpsonian website. This is my final review of...

Horoscopes

Feb. 21 through Feb. 28
Horoscopes

Aries: Don’t be afraid to switch up your style or get a new haircut. I think a mullet would look really good on you!

Taurus: Seek medical advice for that thing that’s been bothering you. That mole is not normal…

Gemini: There’s someone out there for you. I’m not sure they’ll be good, but they’re out there.

Cancer: You need to get control of your spending habits. You can’t waste all your money on those TikTok shops.

Leo: I know it says 24 hours on that deodorant, but maybe you shouldn’t test it.

Virgo: Stream some new music. Your sad girl pop playlist isn’t cutting it.

Libra: Take a pregnancy test just to be sure. Valentine’s Day got a little wild.

Scorpio: Take time to accomplish little tasks for you to feel more productive. You need to do that mound of laundry anyway!

Sagittarius: Here’s your sign to go to therapy. I just hope your therapist doesn’t ghost you like mine did.

Capricorn: You need to go touch some grass.

Aquarius: It’s a beautiful week to do the bare minimum. Trust me, I’ve been doing it my whole life.

Pisces: I wouldn’t approach any babies this week, especially if they’ve just gotten their teeth.

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About the Contributor
Maggie Fitzpatrick
Maggie Fitzpatrick, Staff Reporter

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