Having a friend who has a one-sided crush on you is a tough situation to be in. Things are awkward, you may fear giving mixed signals and ultimately you don’t want to hurt them.
Luckily (or maybe unluckily, if you dread confrontation), the best way to friendzone someone is to be honest. Don’t string them along with hopes of a dreamy relationship, don’t flirt back and set clear boundaries with this individual.
Obviously, you don’t have to be cruel about it; there’s no need for malice or to make fun of them, unless they’re creepy about it. Just simply tell them, “Hey, I don’t think of you in a romantic way, but our friendship is important to me.”
This is definitely easier said than done, though. It can be very uncomfortable, especially face-to-face, and it can be scary knowing you’ll be part of a potential falling out. You never want to see a friend get hurt, especially if you’re the cause of it.
However, there is one thing to remember: it’s worse to drag this conversation out. It’s a talk you need to have, and quickly, like ripping off a Band-Aid. Being honest and direct is the best thing you can do for your friend, because it lets them move on instead of being hung up on you for months or even years.
After you tell them your true feelings, there are two common outcomes.
The first is, they take it like a champ, accept your rejection and move on. Maybe the rejection doesn’t really affect your friendship at all, things go back to normal and you both can move past the awkward encounter in no time. Of course, this is the ideal outcome, but oftentimes things aren’t this simple, especially when it comes to love.
That brings us to our second outcome: they are hurt by your rejection, and this pain causes a rift in your friendship. If this is the case, you should give them time to cope with their potential heartbreak. They may not want to talk to you for a while, and they may even avoid you, but that is okay. Give them some time to process their emotions and get over their pain and embarrassment. Surely, after they recoup, you can begin building your friendship again. It may take some time, but try to understand how they feel.
No matter the outcome, there’s one thing you must remember: you aren’t doing anything wrong by rejecting someone. You should never feel bad for setting a clear boundary.
If this friend cannot accept that, then to be frank, they do not deserve your friendship, period. As long as there is maturity and honesty on both sides of this situation, you should be smooth sailing and this awkward period will be over before you know it.
I’m rooting for you, stranger, and I hope everything works out between you and this friend of yours!
Sincerely,
Millie
