When I was a younger, I would always look to the future as the time when things would happen in my life. In the future, I would be who I wanted to be. I would have the things that I wanted to have.

The future became the answer for me. It was when everything would make sense, and all the pieces of my life would fit together so nicely. In the future, I’m very naive.

High school came and went in the same way. Everything was about preparing for college. I had to get good grades and prepare for tests to get into college.

Now, in the future, it seems like my entire high school experience was all in preparation for a higher education.

Now, in the future, I’m in college. Now, in the future, it’s all about preparing me for work or graduate school. I have to get good grades to get a good job. I have to learn all the material so I will be prepared to enter a job and know what I’m supposed to do.

It’s about learning what it takes to be a “good” citizen, and it’s about experiencing the world around us. It’s about experimenting in the different areas of your life – drugs, alcohol and sex. It’s about finding ourselves, within us. In the future, it’s about becoming somebody else.

In the future, I’m scared shitless. I have no idea what I’m going to do after college. I have no idea where my life is headed; much less knowing if I want my life to be like it is now in the future. The future sounds so threatening to me.

Maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion, and maybe I’m making a big deal out of something that will just be worked out as I go along. Maybe I’m supposed to take charge, and start steering my life where I want it to go. Maybe not.

Maybe it’s not about being someone else, but rather incorporating the new things I have learned into who I am.

Colleges don’t want to brainwash students, just expand their knowledge, right? Does our personality change as we learn more? In the future, what do we prepare ourselves for after our jobs and/or graduate school? What’s the next thing we need to focus on? So many questions with no answers. In the future, I’m not sure of anything.

In the future, confusion encompasses the better part of my life. Not only am I not sure of anything, but I have no idea whether this is good or bad; so much for the benefits of a higher education.

In end, I suppose it’s up to us to decide, and maybe it always has been up to us. The future’s future is in our hands, I guess.