After four years at Simpson, I know a lot. I can use Kantian ethics. I can tell you a history of media law in the U.S. I can even tell you how the chapters of The Bible were written and for what purpose.

But I can also tell you some things that I’ve learned in the past four years that Simpson didn’t teach me. For the 30 grand a year I spent on my education, I honestly can say that I have learned more by staying up all night with friends than I have sitting in a desk in a classroom.

This isn’t to say that Simpson hasn’t taught me valuable ideas. It has. Even now as I look into the future, although the mountains of debt obscure the view a bit, I know that I will value my education for everything it was worth.

But at the risk of this being the hokiest column in the history of The Simpsonian, here’s the countdown of the things I have learned throughout the past four years that you won’t find in a classroom.

5. Take the date. When the shy person that sits behind you in class asks you if you need a little help with you psych, take them up on it. If nothing else, you’ll at least have another smart friend.

4. Give in. Swallowing your pride and telling your roommate they’re right when you disagree is going to be hard. But it will be a lot harder when you wake up a month, a year, a decade from now and realize you miss your friend.

3. Yell at someone. I know. If I had a choice of facing confrontation or jumping off a cliff, I’d jump. But this advice is for those few times in life where you need to face the music. Because let’s face it. Sometimes giving in just isn’t acceptable. So the next time someone makes a racist comment in the Pfeif line or makes fun of someone you know, let them have it and tell them I sent you. Sometimes quietly talking it out just won’t do the trick.

2. Keep in touch. Right now we’re surrounded by friends. But I can tell you as someone moving across the country, the thought of moving away from everyone I know

As a 22-year-old, I know that I don’t know all the answers. Why will take me at least another 22 years to figure out that most of the stuff I’m about to tell you is probably wrong.

I also know that you have just spent the last five minutes reading this column and you’ll probably throw it in the recycling bins when you’re done and not think twice about it again.

But I’m OK with that. Because the number one piece of advice that I would give you is that you have to try things for yourself. When someone asks you to go to a party and you’re sitting in your pajamas wondering if you should go, do it.

When you get the chance to go on the road trip with your friends, but don’t know if you have the money, go. Now’s the time to live it up with your friends so that you can tell the stories to your grandkids when you’re old and fiscally-responsible.

So go crazy. Be genuine. Have fun. Because one day President Byrd will hand you your diploma and it’ll list your degrees. But more importantly, you’ll look into the crowd, lock eyes with your freshman roommate and realize just what you’ve learned.