Opinion: Choosing love, but not at the expense of my own experiences


Last week, one of my fellow reporters wrote a piece written about choosing life over love. It was thought out and well written, but to me, it didn’t quite sit right.

I see all of the posts of people our age getting engaged and, yes, I do think about that happening to me and, yes, I am excited for it. But, if I express that sentiment, most of the time I just get a bunch of people who think I’m crazy. Is it so crazy to picture the rest of my life with someone I love?

Sure, we have a lot of life ahead of us and some people want to use that time to figure themselves out and all I have to say is, good for you. However, some of us want to spend those years with that special person.

It’s true that much of college is about figuring out who we are and where we want to be. And I am figuring it out. It’s a slow learning process about who I am and what I like, but a big piece of that is him. He has helped me discover who I really want to be and what I really want out of life.

This is not me saying that single people need to have someone, because they don’t. They need to do what is best for them and if that is taking some time to discover themselves, they should take it and run with it. That’s just not the person I am and I enjoy having someone with me on my journey.

As someone who has been in a committed relationship with the same person since college started, I hear the arguments that Steffi gave pretty often and they do have some good points. I should be taking this time to find myself and be selfish, but he helps the process, not hinders it.

There’s a constant bombardment of people telling me I need to take time for myself or that having a boyfriend in college is stupid and I need to break up after college in order to “discover myself.” This is not me complaining about being in a relationship; it’s about having others judge me for wanting that commitment. Being with someone has taught me more about myself than I could have learned being on my own.

I was recently told by a professor that if I am able to find the person that makes my heart beat faster and who really gets me, I shouldn’t push it off just because people are telling me to take time to find myself. Having that connection with someone is special and I shouldn’t give it up simply to try and learn something about myself he might not have helped me learn.

I’m not saying I want to be married right now, because I don’t. But I do know that within the next five years I want to make that commitment. And I know who I want it to be with. I want to experience all of life’s ups and downs with him. Just because I’m not single doesn’t mean I can’t have adventures, I’m just having them with the person I want to have adventures with for the rest of my life.