Dear Millie,
How do you get a guy to commit if he doesn’t tell you about his past?

I think, ultimately, there are two main reasons a man won’t open up about his past: he’s dealt with or is currently dealing with a traumatic experience, or he has something to hide.
If it seems like the first option, give him some grace. Provide a safe, comfortable space for him to open up to you. It may take time, but once he decides you are someone he can reside in, you will form trust and a deeper connection. This is the recipe for a successful and loving relationship, and you’ll be glad you gave him the benefit of the doubt.
Now, if there’s any indication he has something to hide, run. There’s no reason a love interest shouldn’t know every personal detail about your life. Hiding information about the past shows lying comes easily to this person. If that’s the case, what else does he have to hide? How easily can he cover up his tracks in a bad situation? You don’t want to be left in the dark about someone you’re pursuing. It seems like a lot of unnecessary stress and emotional damage waiting to happen.
At the end of the day, a man who refuses to open up at all is a man you don’t want to date. It may be harsh, but sometimes the truth hurts. Relationships are meant to be intimate; you should know all his deepest secrets. You can’t love and accept someone if you don’t truly know who they are.
If you’re having commitment issues with him alongside all of this, that’s enough reason to leave. Sometimes, we need to do some self-reflection and question whether the people we’re pursuing are truly worth our time and effort. Think about this man and all he provides you. Will he benefit your life if he’s in it, or will he make it worse? If it were called off tomorrow, would you be sad, or would a weight be lifted off your shoulders? Dating a man shouldn’t be a burden, and it’s far from a necessity in life. Having a man is a luxury; you shouldn’t need anyone to make you happy. It’s great you want someone, but if he doesn’t meet your standards, it’s time to move on and find somebody worthwhile.
Think about your future self and consider how you may feel if you do find out he’s hiding something. You would likely wish you had seen the red flags before you committed to him. I know love often makes us blind, and with your feelings, you’ve probably fallen victim to rose-colored glasses. Coming from an outsider, I advise you to decide what’s best for you. Obviously, if you think you have a future with this guy, and he gives you all reasons to believe he has good intentions, go for it; but remember, a man who won’t open up to you has something to hide, and that sounds like a toxic relationship waiting to happen.
In the meantime, take care of yourself, and be sure the man you date is worthy of your time, energy and love.

Yours Truly,
Millie