The doctors told them they had nothing to worry about. They were wrong. Finnegan was born at Iowa Methodist Medical Center in downtown Des Moines on 2022, June 7 at 11:58 p.m. He weighed 3 pounds, 15.8 ounces and had bright red, wavy hair but no heartbeat. 

Dakota Bunnell, a 2016 Simpson alum, and his wife, Kara, had lost their firstborn child after a regular check-up appointment 32 weeks into pregnancy and are working to educate others through the memory of their son. 

“It was probably the most painful feeling that I’ve ever experienced in my life so far because of making it through 32 weeks and four days and having him that close to actually being here,” Dakota said.

The pregnancy with Finnegan was long and hard to begin with. At the 6-week mark, there was a hemorrhage. At the 20-week mark, an anatomy scan diagnosed him with marginal cord insertion. Still, they were told they had nothing to worry about. At the beginning of the third trimester, there was decreased movement. 

“So we kept going to the doctor,” Kara said. “They kept saying everything was fine.” 

June 4 was the last ultrasound. 

“He was always in the same spot and dropped by about 10 percent on the growth scale at the ultrasound. But they still said everything was fine,” she said. 

The last appointment on June 7, the Doppler ultrasound was used to check the heart rate, but the nurse could not find one. Dakota was not at the appointment and got a phone call to pick up Kara and head to the hospital for a C-section.

Kara said, “The initial feeling was mostly shock and numbness. I didn’t fully break down until it became real at the hospital.” 

Dakota and Kara saw their child Finnegan, who was born sleeping.

“He was perfect. There was nothing visibly wrong with him that we can see,” Kara said. “At this point, we still don’t have answers to why we lost him.”

According to the CDC, stillbirth affects one in 175 babies. After reaching 20 weeks into pregnancy and having a loss, it is considered a stillbirth. 

“Two weeks after trying to take it all in, I was trying to figure out what I was gonna do next and decided to dedicate my time to the future of Finnegan,” Dakota said. 

In memory of Finnegan, Dakota and Kara started the group Friends of Finnegan. 

“The hospital donated a blanket and a hat that we are going to keep forever,” Kara said. “The hat was big and called attention to how small he really was, which hurt because it showed how big he should have been.”

The donation sparked their idea. The group crochets blankets and hats that are sizes from 16 weeks gestation to infant size.

 “Every single baby that comes in and has passed away deserves something that fits,” Kara said. 

These blankets and hats will be donated every year on June 7, the birthdate of Finnegan, to hospitals in the Des Moines Metro. The group has expanded to a collection of books focused on grief directed toward siblings or parents, pregnancy loss and bedtime stories.

“One of the biggest reasons we added the books is because it’s tradition every single night before bed to read Finnegan a bedtime story, and it’s just kind of kept a little normalcy to the situation that we are in,” Kara said. “This is what we had planned on doing if he had lived, so that is what we’re gonna keep doing.”

The group has 149 members and is meant for everyone. There are members who are following the story of the Finnegan group, members for support and members who participate. 

Dakota said, “I want to build a community. Just a place people can go.”

The mission of the group is to strive to help other families who may experience pregnancy or infant loss showing that those who have these journeys are not alone and to bring awareness. 

“Nobody talked about it, and we were completely unprepared,” Kara said. “I feel like the more we talk about it, the more other people can potentially be prepared and have the knowledge to better advocate for themselves.” 

Resources to support can be found on the Linktree page: https://linktr.ee/friendsoffinnegan