Dear Millie,

I am bisexual. I used to identify as a lesbian in high school, but since coming to college, my feelings have changed. I know that sexuality is fluid, and I don’t have to prove myself to the people around me, but I’m nervous to tell people. I feel like there is such a negative opinion of bisexual people both in the straight and LGBTQ community. I hate that the “lesbian until graduation” (or LUG) is a stereotype because I don’t want anyone to think my sexuality was just a phase. I am comfortable with my sexuality for myself and I don’t want to care what other people think, but I do.

Signed,

Blooming Bisexual

Dear Blooming Bisexual,

I need you to know that I think you are valid in your sexuality. Your attraction and sexuality can totally change over time. You are no less important as a bisexual woman than a lesbian.

Unfortunately, biphobia is common among straight and gay spaces. We’ve all heard the stereotypes about bi people being more likely to cheat or never being fully committed to one partner. It is my hope that we can also agree that those views are nothing but biphobic and harmful.

I know it can be difficult not to care about what the people around you think. Remember that most people around you will support you regardless of how you choose to identify.

The stereotypes are just that, and anyone who knows who you are as a person will not judge you for your sexuality. They will celebrate you as you are.

I am a firm believer in no sexualities being a “phase.” At the time, it was true for you. That is what matters. You no longer identify that way, and that is okay. Do not feel like you need to have a big coming out post on Facebook or Instagram. You can identify how you feel and express your feelings with friends you know will listen to you.

I am glad to hear that you are comfortable with yourself because that is the most important part of this process. You are enough just as you are.

Yours truly,

Millie