DVD: an addicts quick fix

DVD: an addicts quick fix

by Matt Morain

“DVD once stood for digital video disc or digital versatile disc, but now it just stands for DVD-the next generation of optical disc storage technology.

DVD aims to encompass home entertainment, computers and business information with a single digital format, eventually replacing the audio CD, videotape, laser disc, CD-ROM and video game cartridge.

DVD has widespread support from all major electronics companies, all major computer hardware companies and all major movie and music studios.

With this unprecedented support, DVD has become “the most successful consumer electronics product of all time in less than three years of its introduction.”

This quotation was taken from a current Web site (http://www.dvddemystified.com/dvdfaq.html#1.1) designed to answer DVD FAQ’s in order to calm a person’s anxieties about investing in this new entertainment vehicle.

They conveniently left out a few important facts that one should know before being enslaved by the DVD culture.

With any luck, collectively hard-learned knowledge of the dark side of the digital entertainment world will educate and prevent further cases of crippling Digital Video Disc Addiction, or DVDA.

Young males are the unquestioned supreme consumers of DVDs. Like video games, dirty magazines and heroin, young men can’t seem to get enough of DVDs.

I myself can attest to this, as I’ve purchased 35 movies on DVD since I got my player last Christmas.

Estimating an average of $20/DVD, that’s roughly $700 spent on movies alone in eight months.

To break it down, about $87.50 a month on DVDs. Good thing I’m virtually undatable, or I’d be in a seriously dire financial quagmire.

Shocked at the news?

One sophomore male, requesting to remain unnamed, bought 33 in two months this summer ($330/month).

Another bought 64 in 13 months ($98.46/month). DVDA is nothing to scoff at.

Why is this frenzied spending madness transpiring?

It’s a very simple recipe.

Think about every good movie you’ve ever seen.

Pepper that with a new way to play them that’s sharper, clearer and comes with never-before seen outtakes of your favorite scenes and actors.

Add several trips to Wal-Mart for batteries or paper and an impressive display rack of reduced prices of your cinematic favorites.

Mix in a dash of high-limit credit card. Frappe. Voila! A delicious soufflŽ of DVDA (serves 30-40).

The upside of DVDA: you have a tremendous collection to be proud of that you can loan to friends in exchange for favors.

Develop a system that assigns specific value to each. “Lord of the Rings” = bowl of cereal. “Ghostbusters” = two sodas. “Godfather” trilogy hand-signed by Francis Ford Copolla = home-cooked Italian dinner and an Asian massage (just suggestions, mind you).

The downsides of DVDA: incredible loss of money and an obligatory feeling to yourself wherein every time you go to an electronics retailer you feel pressured to buy another classic until you’re satisfied for the month.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m fiercely proud of my collection (I have to be to justify $700).

I’m just trying to warn people of the unknown dangers of DVDA. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go retrieve “Godfathers” one and two from a student down the hall and collect on payment.