Homecoming is a celebration of one’s college: a time when students, old and new, come together to pay tribute to the history of an academic institution.

The week is filled with games and activities designed not only for fun but also to bring our collegiate community closer together. Above all this, each homecoming is marked by a slogan, a moniker if you will, that tries to state in a few words what the entire campus embodies. This year’s slogan: “Simpson College: It’s Getting Hot in Here”.

WHAT? Are you telling me that the feeling here at Simpson come homecoming is the same feeling Nelly tries to convey in his Top 40 hit about getting a girl naked. Now, I am not nor have I ever been opposed to nudity, but still…

Normally, I am apathetic toward homecoming themes. Last year’s was “Simpson College: It’s a Way of Life.” I can’t remember any past that; just goes to show how much I pay attention to stuff like that. However, this year’s slogan is silly, the kind of thing that someone would suggest as a theme for the freshman mixer at your high school.

Let’s break the slogan down a little bit, shall we? It’s getting hot in here. What’s getting hot in here? It can’t be the temperature; this weekend the mercury hit its lowest point since March. It can’t be the school spirit; we haven’t seen one packed house at a Storm event yet this year. My best guess is that the room that the homecoming committee meeting was being held in was a little warmer than usual and someone mistook a casual observation on the temperature for a really neat theme for this year’s homecoming. Or it could just be that committee members took it upon themselves to quell any taste and class left over from the “Ra-Ra” days of yore.

What were some of the other ideas that got passed over in lieu of this memorable line from a Nelly song? Here is a list of some of the ones that might not have made the final cut:

“Everybody’s Working For The Weekend” by Loverboy: Homecoming falls on the weekend, everybody works during the week. This is almost too easy.

“Gonna Make You Sweat” by C&C Music Factory: Football players sweat. Seems simple enough.

“Johnny Come Home” by Fine Young Cannibals: Come home = homecoming. Man, I should have submitted this one myself.

“Rudy” by Supertramp: Hey, has anyone seen that movie about that kid who plays football? We have football.

“Gimme Your Money Please” by Bachman Turner Overdrive: Given the cost of tuition, room and board here at Simpson, this might be the best one to fully represent the feelings of the students.

“All That She Wants” by Ace Of Base: Signs could be made for the game that read “All That She Wants Is Another Touchdown”.

“Word To The Mutha!” by Bel Biv Devoe: This one might not work for homecoming, but it would for parent’s weekend.

“Burning Up” by Flock Of Seagulls: This conveys the same type of emotion as “It’s Getting Hot In Here” does. Plus, you get to hear Flock Of Seagulls.

“Country Roads Take Me Home” by John Denver: Yes, Mr. Sunshine On My Shoulders himself. The title of the song is what homecoming is all about.

I could keep going, but I think I’ve made it abundantly clear how silly this year’s motto is. I realize that homecoming doesn’t mean much to some of the students here and its theme probably means even less. Still, this does not excuse the incredibly unmotivating and unoriginal choice of “It’s Getting Hot In Here”. I know that when my days at Simpson are finished and I think back on all the good times I had, I’ll always think of Nelly and begin taking off my clothes.