I got my girlfriend lingerie from Victoria’s Secret for Christmas because she told me that if I ever wanted to see her in anything like that, I’d have to be the one to buy it. I also bought her a sweater-just to cover my ass. Anyway, when I gave it to her, she said that I was such an asshole and that I didn’t know her at all if I thought she would wear that. I took it back for her, but I really would like her to want to wear that kind of stuff. What should I do? I know that she looks good, but I think she’s scared that she doesn’t. How can I get her to be comfortable with the idea?

-stuck with cotton jockey’s

Dear Stuck,

Your girlfriend is giving you the shaft. Here you are, playing the role of the compassionate male, and she goes off on you for buying her lingerie and, what’s more, for not knowing who she really is.

There may be some truth to this. You probably thought she was a sweet girl who would be impressed that you think so much of her body when, in reality, she seems to be a psycho hose-beast.

Trust me, buddy, you did everything right. Not only did you do your best to pick up on her hint about the lingerie, you even went so far as to buy her a sweater as a back up. It seems to me that you just want her to be happy; however, girls like her are hard to please. She will say one thing, then do a complete “180” and change her mind while making you out to be the fool in the process.

It’s not really her fault; it’s the way most women are hardwired. I’ve come to the conclusion that indecisiveness is a side effect of estrogen.

Don’t spend too much time doting on the issue. If she can’t see that you are only trying to make her realize how beautiful she is, then the girl wouldn’t know kindness if it hit her with a brick. If she’s not comfortable with her body, you shouldn’t be either. Dump her.

Yours truly,

David Morain

Dear Stuck,

It’s good to know that you think she would look good wearing lingerie, but have you told her that? Your girlfriend can’t read your mind to know what you’re thinking.

Today’s society has put women under a lot of pressure about the way they look. The bodies of Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, and Christina Aguilera have set the pattern.

Yes, there are some women who look like them, but there are a bigger number of women who don’t. Although it doesn’t mean they don’t look pretty, they don’t think they do.

What you’re dealing with is probably a self-esteem problem that you can help solve.

First of all, don’t force it. Bring the issue into conversation when it is appropriate, but be careful of the way you approach her. If you talk about it all the time, she might think you’re a sexual maniac.

You could even make a deal. If she wears some lingerie, then you will have to do something in retribution. The point is to let her know that you’re willing to do things for her too.

If she agrees, go slowly. Don’t expect her to wear a triple-strap silk thong the very next day. Give her time to get used to it. She must learn to feel confident with her body.

But most important, she must feel comfortable with you in order to wear lingerie.

Sincerely,

Vania Quiroz