Simply Stated

by Simpson Vents

Beer on head may be cool at the Zoo Bar where there are wood floors, but at a house with carpet, you are very unwelcome. Don’t come back.

-Our location is undisclosed

Why do people pretend that student input matters? The prof is going to do whatever they want anyway.

-Student has been blocked from all computers across campus. What’s up with that? Is this another crazy heterosexual idea of fun? Or is it plain cruelty?

-Upset Buxton Student

Bring back the Matt Morain articles. They make me laugh so much. My life sucks without them.


DRAMA… leave it to the stage and not a friendship. Mind your own business!


Why do fifth year seniors resort back to high school tactics for making friends?


Welcome to Simpson High School. How about everyone buys a clue…grow up. Look over your shoulder and wave goodbye to high school and enter college. It’s about time.

-Fed up in Kresge