He Said…She Said

He Said...She Said

by Zachary Robert Rus and Ashley Van AlstineStaff Writer and Perspectives Editor

My boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend has started to become my friend. At first it started out as a Facebook friend request, now we’ve been talking online and we have a couple classes together. I’m a little scared because she’s been known to have violent and crazy outbursts, however so far she’s seemed very nice. But, I can’t help but think there’s some kind of ulterior motive… What do you think?

-New Best Friend

Becoming friends with the ex isn’t a good idea. I did that once and the day after we broke up they were back together. I was livid. They said nothing was going on while we were together, but I believe that about as much as I believe I could throw my house. It’s just not good. If it does happen though, you gotta make sure you do a couple things first:

First – don’t be the one to talk about how much you’re arguing or the fight you got into last night. Even though she’ll probably seem concerned, she isn’t. Most likely she’s planning on how to ruin your relationship. Ex’s are like that.

Second – don’t get into the position where you’re talking more to her than you are to your boyfriend. Honestly, keep the talk to a bare minimum. Once again, she’ll probably screw you over.

Third, and most important, never talk about the sex you’re having. She’ll probably start to miss it and it’ll drive her crazy. A horny ex-girlfriend or boyfriend is something you want to stay away from. I’ve been one before and I bet I was absolutely obnoxious.

What it really comes down to is the communication between you two needs to be minimal. Giving her information that she could twist and spin into something that could be disastrous could ruin what you’ve got going on.

I would talk to your boyfriend and tell him she Facebooked you. At least let him know you’re talking to her. Then if for some reason she comes from nowhere and starts telling him how you Facebooked her and some other crazy shit he knows the truth.

-Zachary Robert Rus

Oh the sneaky ex is never to be trusted.

I’m sure that you’re just a fabulous person and anyone would want to be your friend. However, doesn’t it seem strange to you she only wanted to become your friend after you started dating this guy? Often times when someone’s ex befriends the new girlfriend, it’s only because they’re still hung up on him.

Facebook is harmless enough. Many people have friends on there that they don’t know or even like. Adding her as a friend was harmless, but talking to her online is a bit chummy.

What could you two all of a sudden possibly have in common? Does she swap tips on things she learned in dating your boyfriend? You might want to end your online chatting and keep it a more casual acquaintance level.

Talking in class is fine, but I would keep those chats to a minimum; strictly business type conversations (i.e. what did you get for number one?). Being that it’s a small college, you’re going to see her from time to time, so it’s only best to be friendly and polite especially if she’s crazy.

These violent tendencies are troublesome. Another reason why you should be nice, but be smart. Find out what she has done in the past and what triggers these outbursts. As the old saying goes, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Oh wait, that doesn’t apply to you at all, keep an eye out and if she’s acting crazy run like hell!

-Ashley Van Alstine