Two weeks too soon for family

Two weeks too soon for family

Dear Drew and Bailey,

I’ve been dating a girl for a couple weeks now and Christmas is coming up. She asked me to come home with her for a few days during break to meet her family. What do I do? I feel like it’s way too early. Help!

Sincerely,

Confused about Christmas.

He Said…

Agreed. It is definitely too early for the whole family thing. Bringing them in this early on could really make things awkward and possibly ruin your break.

At this point in the game you probably haven’t let her see the real you and she hasn’t discovered half of your quirks.

If you’re with her during break, you’re still going to have to play it safe, which means you can’t fully relax.

Also, you’re going to have to play 500 questions with the family and tell them your life story 20 times and give them the answers you don’t really mean but you do to keep them happy.

Furthermore, you’re going to have to do that whole separate bed thing or even if the parents let you stay in the same room, you really can’t make sharing a bed worth your while, since there’s a good chance you could get “interrupted.”

So, I suggest you avoid all this messy family complication stuff and not go.

Breaking this news could be tricky though. You need to find a way to let her know you don’t want to go, without letting her know you don’t want to go.

I suggest lying. Tell her that every break your family goes to Mexico to build houses and feed the homeless and you really can’t get out of it. Then you don’t have to go and you look like a good guy, giving you more points.

Or maybe say you have to go take care of your siblings and help your mom. Once again, making you look like a good guy.

Or, you could just tell the truth. Explain to her that you really like her, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to meet her family.

You don’t want to go too fast and ruin what you have. Tell her that you want to take more time to get to know her before you meet her parents. Then she knows you care and you don’t have to go.

She Said…

Of course it’s too early! Unless you’re dating a high school girl and you have to see her parents anyway when you pick her up from their place – if so, get out now, meeting her parents would be ridiculous.

First, if their daughter gets attached this easily; her parents should be concerned. No need to meet another guy before their overzealous daughter scares him off. If the ‘rents are just as immature and think it’s perfectly normal, it would seem the apple doesn’t fall far from the crazy tree. Either way, you won’t be meeting them under good circumstances.

Second, you should know that this is likely a slippery slope. Sure, you can endure a day or two of awkwardness with the parents, but that’s just the first step. Next thing you know, she’s picking out china and hiring a band. If you like it, dude, you should have put a ring on it. Thank you, Beyonce, for encouraging another round of MRS degrees.

I’m not sure that people realize anymore just how big of a deal it is to say you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone. I mean, come on, two weeks is not a long time. Two YEARS is not a long time. Fifty or sixty years, however, will be a long-ass time-especially when you’re spending it with the same person. All I’m saying is that it’s a huge commitment, and quite frankly most people don’t get that-nor do they seem to care, until the whole thing ends in a messy divorce.

I would think that if you’re gearing up to introduce yourself to someone’s family and give off the vibe that this relationship is going places, you would want to be absolutely sure that she’s not, in fact, crazy. Otherwise, you’re going to end up miserable, divorced or dead because Psycho Sally hired someone to off you for flirting with another woman.

In short: no, you should not be meeting someone’s parents after two weeks. That’s not long enough to find out anything about her. It wouldn’t be fair for you to let her think it’s getting serious when you’re not even sure your personalities match yet.

Just sit her down and explain that the two of you should be spending time on your own and getting to know each other before you add families to the mix. Plus, it’s much easier to get out of the relationship if her dad doesn’t know what you look like and where you live. Judging from this girl’s attitude, she probably has daddy’s girl syndrome and Daddy probably has a shotgun.