Ask Millie: Not-So-Homesick

Dear Millie,

This is my first year at Simpson. I love Simpson for all of the reasons I hoped I would. My classes have been going well, and I get along well with my roommate and friends. Lately, my problem has been with my family, especially my mom. I went home three weeks ago, and she keeps asking me when I’ll be home. I don’t have a reason to go home before Easter. I live an hour away, so the drive isn’t the hard part. I just feel so bored every time I go home because I don’t talk to my high school friends much, so I’m stuck with my family. How do I explain to my mom that I don’t really want to come home as often?

Signed,

Not-So-Homesick

 

Dear Not-So-Homesick,

Congratulations on making it through most of your first year! If you can make it through one more month, you’re in the clear.

I understand your decision to stay on campus. You have established a routine here. You see the same people every day, and that is important to recognize.

Your mom and your family seem to be important to you, and that doesn’t mean you need to see them every free weekend you have.

I would recommend talking to your mom about the way you feel. Avoiding the question or not communicating will only cause you to be stressed about the situation.

Coming to college comes with quite a few emotions. Some students are sad to be away from their parents and come home every weekend. Others only come home during long breaks. Most are somewhere in between.

Learning how to leave home is an important part of maturing. Your ability to spend time with your new community does not necessarily mean a lack of love and appreciation for your family back home. You are learning to be your own person.

On campus, you have weekend activities, friends to catch up with and time to relax. It makes sense that you would choose to spend this time with your chosen friends. After all, you only have another month in the semester. You deserve to spend this time with them before the summer begins.

Your mom will likely be willing to hear you out if you share your thoughts with her, opening up is the first step.