Dear Millie,

So I’ve seen a lot of movies and TV shows that have some sort of ‘perfect’ couple and I aspire to have that kind of relationship. What do I do if my relationship doesn’t live up to that ‘perfect’ fairytale standard?

Signed,

Hopeless Romantic

Hopeless Romantic,

I know it can be difficult to reconcile the relationships we see on TV or in movies with the person you see in front of you. Who hasn’t watched “The Office” and hoped to find the Pam to their Jim?

It is understandable to think your relationship should model another “more perfect” relationship.

We live in a society where “perfect” relationships are displayed on social media every day. We only show our followers what we want them to see, not what the relationship truly is.

Remember that most couples in movies or on TV face some sort of conflict before coming out stronger than they were before. This might consist of cheating or going on “a break.”  

TV shows do not show us a couple as they go through their whole day. As an audience, we do not know about the moments that do not move the plot forward.

You are not a fictional character, and you experience more than plot-driven life.

I recommend you think of all of the things you love about your significant other.

Maybe they do a few things that annoy you, like never changing their socks, or wearing that one jacket you hate, but they are more than those small annoyances.

But aren’t there moments you love, that even TV couples couldn’t compare to?

Fairy tales are just that. A royal meets a non-royal and they fall head over heels. If you spend your time comparing your relationship to the ones you see every day instead of the ones on a pedestal, you will not have realistic expectations for your relationship.

Look to the relationships around you for inspiration, and realize that no relationship is perfect. Even our grandparents have spats after they’ve been married for 50 years.

Relationships can be hard work, they are not the effortless twenty-three minute episodes you watch on Netflix, but that does not mean your relationship is not worth your time and affection.

As long as you have a better relationship than those on “The Bachelor,” you’ve taken a step in the right direction.

Yours truly,

Millie