The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

Letter to the Editor: In response to inaccessibility on campus
Letter to the Editor: In response to inaccessibility on campus
by Advocacy, Community, Education and Support (ACES), Special to The Simpsonian • March 1, 2024

Dear Editor, We write in response to an article published February 14, 2024, in The Simpsonian titled, “No disabled students need apply:...

Retraction and update: After Midnight review
Retraction and update: "After Midnight" review
by Maggie Fitzpatrick, Staff Reporter • February 28, 2024

In my previous review of the late-night show "After Midnight", I stated that comedian Matt Walsh, who was a guest on the show, is “a prominent...

SCTV 2/28/24
by Aaron Wilkins and Sam HyingFebruary 28, 2024

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Aries: Today, your impulsive nature might lead you to adopt a pet rock; at least it won’t run away.

Taurus: Embrace change, even if it means switching from your favorite snack to a slightly different flavor.

Gemini: Your wit will be as sharp as ever today, but be careful not to accidentally roast your friends, they might not find it as funny.

Cancer: Today, your intuition will be so strong that you’ll predict the microwave timer down to the last second; use this power wisely.

Leo: Your confidence will soar, but remember, even the proudest lions have their clumsy moments; watch out for that coffee table!

Virgo: Your attention to detail is unmatched, but today, try not to obsess over the alignment of your socks; no one else will notice.

Libra: Your charm will be irresistible today, but be cautious not to use it to convince your friends to do your laundry; that’s crossing the line!

Scorpio: Your mysterious aura will be especially potent today, but try not to freak out your friends by predicting their deepest secrets; leave some mystery!

Sagittarius: Your adventurous spirit will lead you to new and exciting places, but maybe double-check the address before you embark on your journey.

Capricorn: Today, your practicality will shine, but resist the urge to organize your friend’s closet; they might not appreciate your Marie Kondo tendencies.

Aquarius: Your innovative ideas will flow endlessly today, but try not to invent a new language that only you understand.

Pisces: Your creative energy will be off the charts, but be careful not to get lost in your own imagination; your friends might miss you!

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Kenzie Van Haaften, Staff Reporter

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