The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

The Nation's Oldest Continuously Published Student Newspaper

The Simpsonian

Letter to the Editor: In response to inaccessibility on campus
Letter to the Editor: In response to inaccessibility on campus
by Advocacy, Community, Education and Support (ACES), Special to The Simpsonian • March 1, 2024

Dear Editor, We write in response to an article published February 14, 2024, in The Simpsonian titled, “No disabled students need apply:...

Retraction and update: After Midnight review
Retraction and update: "After Midnight" review
by Maggie Fitzpatrick, Staff Reporter • February 28, 2024

In my previous review of the late-night show "After Midnight", I stated that comedian Matt Walsh, who was a guest on the show, is “a prominent...

SCTV 2/28/24
by Aaron Wilkins and Sam HyingFebruary 28, 2024

Horoscopes

Horoscopes

Aries: Your impatience could skyrocket to new heights, making waiting for a microwave popcorn feel like an eternity. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Taurus: Your stubbornness might reach record-breaking levels. Remember, even a bull can learn to dance the salsa. 

Gemini: Your dual nature may lead to hilarious conversations with yourself in public. Just be sure to blame it on your “evil twin” if anyone gives you odd looks.

Cancer: Your emotional rollercoaster might get stuck on the loop-de-loop. Just remember, it’s okay to cry over spilled milk, as long as you don’t form a support group for it.

Leo: Your dramatic flair might reach Shakespearean proportions. Don’t be surprised if your roar turns into a melodramatic meow.

Virgo: Your obsession with perfection could lead you to rearrange your sock drawer by color, size, and fabric type. Just remember, sometimes a little chaos adds spice to life.

Libra: Your indecisiveness could lead you to a never-ending game of rock, paper, scissors with yourself. Take a chance and trust your instincts.

Scorpio: Your intensity may be mistaken as auditioning for a soap opera role. Remember, not every spilled coffee cup is a cosmic conspiracy.

Sagittarius: Your wanderlust might have you planning a vacation to the moon. While you wait for SpaceX to call, maybe settle for a weekend getaway.

Capricorn: Your inner party animal is ready to break free from its workaholic shell. Embrace spontaneity, let loose and make some unforgettable memories.

Aquarius: Your eccentricity may hit its peak, with your ideas bordering on the brilliantly bizarre. Embrace your quirkiness, but try not to invent a new language just for your pet goldfish.

Pieces: Your daydreaming may reach Olympic-level proportions, but be careful not to mistake your laundry hamper for a portal to Narnia.

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Kenzie Van Haaften, Staff Reporter

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