He said/She said

by Simpson College

Dear He Said/ She Said,

My girlfriend and I have been sexually active for three months now. But the past couple of weeks I have had some irritation “down there” in my pants. She said she has only been with one other person. Should I worry about her cheating? Do I need to be tested or hope it fades and chalk it up as jock itch? At some point should I confront her?

~ Sick of Itching

Dear Sick of Itching,

An itch of any kind “down there” should be enough reason why you should seek immediate medical attention. If you get an itch “down there,” unless you’ve recently shaved, it is usually an indication that something is not right.

I don’t even want to ask why it didn’t occur to you that you should always use a condom. Trust alone is not going to save you from such things. You should always be protected.

For heaven’s sake, go get tested right away. DO NOT HESITATE. After that, you might then confront your girlfriend and tell her she needs to get tested too.

As far as cheating is concerned, that is something you need to discuss. Cheating of any kind should not be tolerated.

I suggest that you sit her down and talk about your intentions and where you would like to see the relationship go.

Go get tested and stay protected.


Dear Sick of Itching,

Your itching and irritation can be the early signs of a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI). Get yourself checked out right away. Although the thought of your girlfriend cheating would be infuriating–that should be the least of your worries right now.

After getting yourself tested, sit down with your girlfriend and chat about your current situation. Also, it may be beneficial to discuss past relationships with your significant other. Don’t forget to include the relationships that involved any and all forms of sexual activity. For future reference it’s important to discuss past relationships at the beginning of any new relationship and it’s also a good idea to be issued a “clean bill of health” before you engage in any sort of sexual activity within a new relationship.

As far as your girlfriend is concerned, try to be as understanding as possible and give her the benefit of the doubt. She may have only been with one guy, but maybe that one guy infected her with a STI. If that’s the case she should have told you, but at the same time put yourself in her shoes. If you had an STI, how many people would you trust enough to tell? This may be a stumbling block in your relationship, or it may be the final straw that breaks the proverbial camel’s back–that’s up to you to decide.

I don’t have to tell you that being sexually active is a big responsibility. However, I do think it’s important to remind you about the importance of not only being responsible, but also being safe. Take responsibility for yourself and your future by getting tested at least once a year if you’re sexually active.