Dear He Said/She Said,

I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple weeks, and obviously it’snot anything serious. We’ve “shared a bed” on more than oneoccasion, but we’ve never really talked about being together. Ireally like this guy and I want to know what he thinks about me. Idon’t want a relationship, but at the same time I don’t want to beone of many girls he’s seeing. How do I approach him and whatshould I do if I am one of many? Should I ask him for some sort ofcommitment or do I just not bother and leave it alone? If we’reboth getting our kicks is it okay to continue this charade?

Sincerely,

Just Another Notch on His Headboard

Well, all you have to do is be honest with him. I suggest youcome right out and ask him if he is interested in a long term thingwith you.

Actually, there are many questions you can ask guys to get theanswer you want, or something close to it.

To be honest with you, some men are not good at communicatingtheir feelings. All you have to do is pay attention to his actions,emotions and simple gestures. That is how men communicate. Youwomen ought to know by now that men are just not good at thecommunication game.

If you want a straight answer from him, then ask him bluntlywhat his intentions are with you. If you think that he might beseeing other girls, go ahead and ask him that and tell him exactlyhow you feel about it.

It seems like you just need an excuse or somebody to tell you tocontinue with this ‘charade.’ Well, you definitely aren’t going toget that from me. Stop beating about the bush and just ask the guyout if you like him.

~ Vee

It sounds like your “relationship” with this guy is barelyanything more than sexual. My unforgettable words of wisdom gosomething like this: A relationship can’t be based purely on sex.Right now, that’s what you have with this guy… random,non-committed sex. If you want this fling to be anything more thanwhat it is, then you have to communicate with your bed buddy andlet this guy know that you want to be the only chick in his henhouse. Guys very rarely understand body language, subtle hints oreven sometimes the English language, so be very specific, askstraight-forward questions and be prepared to make some kind ofsports analogy or even use smoke signals.

If you find out that you are one of many girls he’s been withrecently forget it… this guy isn’t worth your time. I don’t careis he’s God’s gift to women, you should never have to be second…or even third in line when it comes to a relationship of any sort.Don’t take a number, take a hint-this guy isn’t worth your time oranyone else’s for that matter.

If he feels the same way you do and by some odd chance wants arelationship, I guess all I have to say is: good luck andcongratulations! You’ve found a rare breed.

~Andrea