Dear He said/She said:

by Simpson College

Dear He said/She said:

I am in a long distance relationship, three hours apart. Myboyfriend trusts me and we have a great relationship, but myboyfriend got really drunk last weekend when I didn’t come home tovisit, and thinks he might have kissed another girl. He doesn’tremember and I don’t know if I should be mad at him or not?


He Says…

He thinks he might have kissed another girl? What does thatmean? Hello, doesn’t this sound like one of those mind games toyou? It sounds like one to me. If he kissed another or didn’t, Ithink he’d remember or at least something or someone would probablyremind him of that. Alcohol-related amnesia, as I call it, onlylasts for a short while and then the events of the carefullyforgotten night start to play back in the person’s mind.

Besides, you not coming home for a short visit doesn’t grant himany reason to cheat on you. Don’t let him make you feel guilty fornot coming home.

I’d be not so happy with him at all. Get him to confess hisundoing and then give him a boot.


She Says…

I’ve been in your shoes, and have shared your concern. I knowthat long distance relationships are difficult and at timesseemingly impossible, but have faith. If your boyfriend doesn’tremember it, then I wouldn’t worry about it. This girl wasn’t veryimportant to him if he doesn’t remember the kiss; the importantthing is that he told you about the incident.

Obviously you share an open and honest relationship, in order tokeep it that way sometimes it’s best to forgive and forget. Ialways say that you need to pick your battles, and this one isn’tworth fighting. Give him the benefit of the doubt and I would evengive him props for telling you about his weekend.

I personally don’t think that you have anything to worryabout-if you have a boyfriend who is concerned about how you’regoing to react to a one night drunken mistake, then you’re muchluckier than a number of girls on this campus, myself included.

Good luck with your long-distance relationship, and remember toalways keep the lines of communication open-honesty, in this caselike many others, is the best policy.