I’m living in Kresge and I’ve had a lot of problemsconcentrating lately. I’ve recently discovered that I have a crushon my roommate. She’s a great listener and everything that myboyfriend isn’t. I’ve never been attracted to a girl before, butthis really seems new, exciting, and somewhat taboo. I don’t knowif I should tell my roommate or just keep it to myself. What do Itell my boyfriend? Should I explore my curiosities or just leavewell enough alone? Am I a lesbian? How do I know for sure? Is thisjust a phase, will I “grow out of this?

She says…

Holy heart attack. That’s what you’ll give your roommate if youtell her right now. Give this crush some time.

There are many crushes that fade fast, and in a close livingenvironment you don’t want to stir up the soup too soon. Does shesee you as a new best friend or a flirty companion?

During college, many people experiment sexually and if you’reready to venture into lesbianism then go for it. I have no way ofknowing if you’re a lesbian or if this is only a phase, but you’llnever know if you don’t give it a try. If you’re looking for extrasupport in this venture, head to LGBTQA where you’re bound to findassistance.

As for your boyfriend, this may give him a little jolt – or alot of insecurity. Be careful and honest when you break this newsto him. It’s like thinking you’re taking a relaxing Sunday drive inthe country, but suddenly finding yourself in an New York Citytraffic jam – he’s just not expecting this.

There’s no need to decide your sexuality overnight.

If you seriously can’t concentrate, go to Dunn Library – there’snothing sexy about that place.

-Mindy Marks

He says…

As tempting as another woman may be, especially one who probablythinks like you and understands some of the problems you face,there is a reason that you have dated men your whole life. Althoughsomeone of the same sex can identify with you, there is probably areason that you have not had any homosexual feelings before yourtime in college. That is, you are probably not gay.

Now, that’s not to say to there is no possible way your feelingsare true, but precedent shows it is unlikely.

It’s a reality that some women are better listeners then men. Ifyou are unhappy about the communication between you and yourboyfriend, then you must take the problems to him. If he’sunwilling to discuss your feelings, then it’s time to send himpacking.

Be very careful if you decide to pursue these feelings you havefor your roommate. Just because you have this type of feelingdoesn’t mean that she does. Only you can figure out if you wantthat lifestyle, just do it carefully with everyone’s feelings inmind. If you discover that you are truly a lesbian, you will not”grow out of it,” you will grow into it.

-James Joy