Let’s face it, if you’re reading this right now you probably don’t have a Valentine’s date (or at least one you can be proud of). Fret not, Simpson. Listed below are some foolproof methods to landing that perfect date.

Step 1: Start with Yourself

If you expect to land the best date, you have to be the best you. That means grooming yourself (yes, actually showering) so you look presentable to the potential mate. If a woman/man sees you as unattractive, there is no way they will agree to spend the big night by your side. After showering, feel free to spritz on your favorite perfume/cologne. Now that you don’t smell, men can freshen their look by getting rid of unruly facial hair. And ladies – a little extra makeup never hurt anyone.

Step 2: Dress to Impress

How you present yourself is almost more important than your personality. Before getting ready to leave the house, put those sweatpants away and slip into your hottest outfit. How do you know the best thing to wear when trying to impress a man/woman? Put on something that makes you feel genuinely good about yourself. A dress that shows a lot of cleavage isn’t the best choice if it makes you feel uncomfortable. When you’re happy with how you look, the opposite sex will be, too.

Step 3: The Hunt is On

If you haven’t found the perfect date so far, then it probably means they simply aren’t around! Get out of your comfort zone and find some new places to socialize. Whether it’s Holy Grounds, The Zoo Bar or a new club in Des Moines, changing your scenery will bring so many more opportunities.

Step 4 – Using Reinforcements

No matter which venue you choose you need to know that the ladies/men aren’t going to be flocking to you instantly. If you want something great you will have to work for it. Unfortunately, that may mean forking over some cash. Buy that cutie in the coffee shop a Cappuccino, and don’t skimp on the whipped cream! If bribing someone to date you isn’t your thing, try bringing a wingman. Having your best friend by your side will give you the extra confidence you’ll need when making the first move. Word of advice – make sure your friend isn’t hotter than you.

Step 4: It’s Now or Never

Now that you’ve buttered up your potential date with coffee and/or alcoholic beverages (which may work more to your advantage anyways), it’s time to pop the question. Nothing’s scarier than asking someone you really like on a date, when you don’t know if they like you. Read the signs. If someone of the opposite sex has been glancing at you all night, it means they are interested. If their body language is pointing in your general direction – they are open to communication. Bring the situation up casually, being careful not to make a big deal out of it.

Step 5: Coping with the Answer

If you’re lucky, you now have a date for Valentine’s Day. Congratulations – you followed the steps like a champion and are on your way to a fun-filled night of romance. But not all of you can be that lucky. If you’re one of those, don’t stress. Simply repeat steps 1-4 every night this week until you find someone to accompany you on the big day. There’s someone out there for everyone.