Floro and Ginger Know Best


by Erin Floro & Julia Robinson

How can I avoid getting arrested on spring break?


Spring break is merely two weeks away and I know how excited we all are. If you don’t have plans yet, come get naked with me in Panama City, Fla.

If you’ve never been anywhere without your parents I’m sure you have many questions-and I have answers. The biggest question, “How can I avoid getting arrested on spring break?” My answer: “Why would you want to avoid?”

This year’s trip isn’t about parasailing, swimming with dolphins, and sipping lemonade. It’s about beer, boys, babes, and beaches. Enough said. Enter that wet T-shirt contest, booty contest, get a tattoo on your hiney, eat at Waffle House twice a day, and get arrested.

Being arrested for public intoxication is not what most of you may think. You are shoved into the drunk tank with a few hundred others speaking jibberish, eating slop, and pissing in your orange jumpsuit. All in a cold hard two-by-four foot cell. What better story to tell your children and grandchildren.

Going on a wild trip with your friends is every excuse to get crazy: no one knows you, and you’re never going to see them again. These aren’t places you meet husbands and wives. This is an opportune time to toot it and boot it.

If you don’t feel like spending the night in the crow bar motel, here are some words of wisdom to take with you after spring break. Cops are going to seem hardcore, but they are just people – so make friends with them. The best way to get out of a ticket is to say you are a police officer in your hometown, make conversation, and walk away. Works like a charm every time.

But remember all those embarassing photos are going to be on Facebook, which all your parents have now.


Spring fever is starting to hit – hard. The temperature’s rising, the squirrels are reappearing, and our beloved spring break is only two weeks away. How do professors expect us to even think about homework and tests with all this chaos? I, for one, am coming down with “the fever.”

If you haven’t made spring break plans yet, you should. Whether it’s just a simple road trip to visit your roommate or a crazy week in Florida, you don’t want to miss out on all spring break has to offer. Oh, except for one thing – getting arrested.

Yes, arrested. You may think it will never happen to you, but the reality is that the police are on super-alert during spring break – just waiting for those of us with “the fever” to make a mistake. This doesn’t mean you can’t have your fun on your spring break trip, it simply means you have to be smart.

1. Walk in groups. You are going to look a lot more suspicious to the police if you’re stumbling along by yourself. Plus, it’s just not safe to be walking around alone. Think back to your junior-high days and use the “buddy system.”

2. Cooperate with the law. If you do happen to have an unfortunate encounter with the police, fight all urges to run away. They are going to catch you – this isn’t “Superbad.” Also, don’t get an attitude with the cop. If you look sad and tell the truth you’re much more likely to walk away with a ticket, rather than having to spend a night in jail with the other spring break drunks.

3. Ditch your fake. Yes, I am talking about your fake ID. Liquor stores and clubs are on the look-out for fake identification during spring break, and depending on what state you’re in, the punishment for using a fake can be losing your drivers license for up to a year. Give “Sally Johnston” a break for a week and keep your real ID handy at all times.