The Pfeiffer Survival Guide: Plates

The+Pfeiffer+Survival+Guide%3A+Plates

by Ryan Edwardson, Maddy McAreavy and Whitney Thompson

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“font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic;”>The purpose of this column

is to offer insight regarding the ins and outs of Pfeiffer Dining

Hall. Whitney Thompson, Maddy McAreavy, and I will take turns

offering tips and hints we have picked up over a combined 17

semesters of eating at Pfeiffer. Our intention is not to bash

Simpson’s dining hall, but to offer advice and share our

observations

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You cannot eat

without a plate, so you’ll need to evaluate Pfeiffer prior to

entering the dining hall.

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The first thing

you need to do is note how long the line is. For those of you who

have not been here since the first day of classes, the Pfeiffer

line has decreased significantly in recent weeks, likely due to the

addition of Pfeiffer Express in the Great Hall.

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The primary

reason line length is relevant to the task of getting a plate is

that more people means fewer plates

available.

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So if the line

is past the library steps, know that getting a plate is going to be

a chore. Which leads me to the most important tip about acquiring a

plate: pick up a plate at the earliest opportunity.

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Diners often

overestimate the availability of plates, so they neglect to grab a

plate at the first food dispensary (the one with French fries).

Huge mistake.

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The next

logical plate location almost always reveals nothing more than an

empty cubby hole. Getting trapped plateless at the first major food

station with a line behind you is a common conundrum. Below are a

few possible courses of action.

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1. Awkwardly

reach near the crotch of persons behind you to grab a plate below

the French fries if plates are there. This is not ideal, but at

least you keep your place in line.

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2. If this

option is not feasible, send a friend to grab plates for both of

you at the pizza station. There are 

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at the pizza station. This is just one of many perks of being in

line with an accomplice.

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Also, sending a

plate-getter very early in the line is a great idea. The

plate-getter can also double as a scout, telling you where the good

food is.

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3. If you are

friendless in the lunch line, then venture to the pizza station

solo. This is the most dangerous option because losing your spot in

line is now a real and present danger. Sneaking back in line isn’t

impossible, but is best avoided.

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4. Lastly, be

wary of freshly washed plates. The man with the plate cart may seem

like a blessing, but those plates are scalding hot. Whatever you

do, do not grab them with a full grip, but rather apply the

technique of just barely touching the rim until the plate

cools. 

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By applying the

advice above, the deceptively difficult task of acquiring a plate

becomes much more manageable.