Pfeiffer Survival Guide: The Pfeiffer staples: chicken and potatoes

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by Ryan Edwardson, Maddy McAreavy and Whitney Thompson

The obvious goal of Pfeiffer is to meet our dining needs. Namely, they must provide us with some sort of food product.

While there has been great debate about the quality of said food, we would like to say that Pfeiffer has definitely stepped it up this year.

The addition of “Chef on Fire” and “Pie Day Friday” have greatly enriched our dining experience. We would like to note that after last week’s article, we witnessed the long awaited return of “Pie Day Friday” complete with a variety of new and delicious pies. If the good people of Pfeiffer actually read this article, we thank you for the wonderful improvement.

On another note, we have noticed a certain trend in Pfeiffer’s menu. If you don’t regularly dine at Pfeiffer, no, you did not randomly hit ‘chicken and potatoes day’ every time you visited. Chicken and potatoes are a staple at Pfeiffer.

It is rare that a day goes by without one or the other making an appearance in some form.

You may claim that there are a variety of types of chicken and potatoes. We agree, but this does not constitute as mixing things up.

Thai chicken, barbeque chicken, chicken wings, Parmesan chicken, chicken marsala and honey-glazed chicken are all chicken. Similarly mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes with the potato skin in them, garlic mashed potatoes, au gratin potatoes, sliced potatoes and cheesy potatoes are also all potatoes.

Due to the massive amounts of chicken and potatoes, we have concluded that Chartwell’s is run by chicken farmers in Idaho. In fact, the abundance of chicken has caused us to begin searching for a chicken farm near Simpson campus. We have yet to find it.

We are also concerned that we have only seen the thighs of all these chickens. Where did the rest of the chicken go? It is rumored that all incoming freshmen will be issued free feather pillows next year in order to dispose of the excess of feathers Pfeiffer is bound to be generating.

You may also have noticed the mixed vegetable dish. If you dine in Pfeiffer regularly, you know what we mean. The carrots, squash and green beans mixture tends to be a reoccurring theme.

It is a nice, healthy yet consistent option. It is important to have color on your plate and this dish will provide you with at least three colors of the rainbow.

None of this is to say that we don’t love chicken and potatoes. It has come to be a sort of comfort food in Pfeiffer. There is no question about what is in chicken or potatoes. There is no such thing as mystery meat Monday at Pfeiffer and for that we are thankful.

Though chicken and potatoes may be served a bit too often, it is a safe reliable fallback when nothing else looks appealing.

We can always trust chicken and potatoes.