Mission impossible

by Erin Capps

How many of you have tried to apply for a loan?

I’m not talking about your regular student loan. I’ve been trying for the past two weeks to get a loan to buy a new computer.

The dinosaur I brought to college has crashed nearly every time I’ve used it. I think it senses the urgency of finishing a paper. Just when I’m ready to print, the screen decides to wobble (quite the computer term) and freezes.

Now back to the loan catastrophe. I recently have applied for a loan at six different banks and they all give me some well-concocted excuse.

“You have perfect credit, but you haven’t been established long enough.”

“You’ve got great collateral, but we need to see the title of your car and every documented payment on it since the beginning of time.”

Or how about, “We would love to give you a loan, just call our 1-800 number and we’ll have a loan to you in no-time.” The 1-800 number sounded good, so I tried it.

After giving every detail of my life–down to my birth weight and eye color–the telephone operator gives me another excuse. “We will let you know in the next two to three weeks if your loan was approved.”

I don’t know about you guys, but 24 hours away from a computer and I start to get edgy.

I think there is a conspiracy among all banks. Their goal being to keep college kids at bay.

The less chance college students have at money, the better chance banks will have at employing telemarketers in the future.