Joe Millionaire’ cheapens women through sexism


by David Morain

Same old love story.

Twenty girls fly to France to meet millionaire boy. Girls fight for boy. Boy chooses one girl. Girl finds out that millionaire is actually a welfare candidate. Girl crushed. Boy left lonely. Greedy television executives happy.

This fall, America will have a chance to watch this perverted soap opera play out on national TV, much to the chagrin of people with souls and the delight of those who cheered when Old Yeller got shot. In “Joe Millionaire,” the morbid fascination with “reality” TV has reached its lowest point.

FOX broadcasting has a history of making money off the emotions of others. From “Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?” to “Temptation Island,” this glorified cable access station has put people in situations where they are expected to end up broken hearted.

There are even plans to create a show called “Married By America,” where the audience gets to choose who winds up with whom. It’s kind of like the Unification Church that follows the teachings of Reverend Sun Myung Moon. Crazies.

In “Joe Millionaire” the women are told that “Joe” is a man with holdings valued at $50 million and lives in a French chateau. In actuality, “Joe” is Evan, a construction worker earning just over $19,000 a year. He seems OK except for the fact that he sold out to an evil corporation. What kind of man would agree to deceive all these women?

Better question: what kind of woman would willingly agree to travel halfway across the globe to meet a stranger in hopes of marrying into money? Well, Amanda is a 28-year old flight attendant while Brandy is a 27-year old… flight attendant. Katy, a personal assistant to something or someone, is 24. Substitute teachers, customer service representatives, loan officers… these gals couldn’t possibly be hard up for cash. In fact, the only woman that doesn’t really need the money is Katie, a 30-year old doctor.

These ladies have no idea what they’re getting themselves into. Besides the letdown of fawning over a guy who probably couldn’t afford payments on a ’78 Datsun, they are going to be humiliated when FOX shows them as money-grubbing harlots who are only on the show to get into Joe’s pants… for his wallet. Not only is this unfair to the women of the show, it is unfair to women in general. All of the misrepresented stereotypes that men associate with the fairer sex (back-stabbing, wealth-mongering, cat-fighting, etc.) will be portrayed on “Joe Millionaire.” It is this type of intended, one-sided sexism that keeps us from truly realizing the equity of the sexes.

How far are network administrators going to take these inane and degrading shenanigans? I can just see it now…

New to the FOX fall lineup, from the creators of “Joe Millionaire”, it’s “Who Wants To Get Accosted By Eleven Rabid Baboons?” It’s non-stop fun as our gaggle of thirty women battle for the attention of these sexy simians, each wanting the prize money of $5 million and, of course, the accosting. Tune in every Monday at 8 p.m. to see women like Cindy…

Cindy: “I like Mr. Jingle-Toes. He’s dreamy in a flea-infested sort of way.”

And Stacy…

Stacy: “There’s something about Professor Von Bananas. The way he throws his excrement really pushes my buttons.”

These girls are desperate for money, so you never know what’s going to happen when we throw cash at them so they’ll disgrace themselves before fading into obscurity. Tune in and find out!

So, if you’re like me, or anyone with a conscience for that matter, turn the channel and keep your dignity. It took a show like “Joe Millionaire” to make $50 million sound so cheap.