The guy I’m dating is a great guy. The problem is my friends think he’s gay, but I have never noticed anything strange. What should I do – listen to them or just continue the relationship?

Concerned

Dear Concerned:

If you continue the relationship, at least you know (if nothing else) that you’ll have a reliable shopping partner. Your friends should never have an impact on your relationships. But then again, if you are oblivious to something that everyone else but you seems to pick up on, perhaps you need to re-examine your own vested self interests in the relationship.

Gay, straight, everything is so suburban these days. Don’t listen to society for your answer; pay attention to your Gaydar. If he is gay, so what? He’s still fun, right? So go out with him and have a good time. Girls in relationships are, traditionally, more enticing than available girls. It’s something about the thrill of the hunt that makes guys want to pursue more so than normal.

Rather than the two cut and dry decisions that you’ve laid out for yourself to follow, there’s a third option you’ve yet to explore. Perform a litmus test on your boyfriend, and determine just how straight he is.

Play a Liberace album for him, take him to a production of “Cats,” and/or watch Christopher Lowell on the Discovery Channel with him. If any of these tests register major interest, you might want to heed your friends’ advice.

Sincerely,

Matt Morain

Dear Concerned:

First of all consider the source. Do you trust their judgement? They could simply be making fun of others and it could be just a joke. But if that’s not the case and you’re really thinking that he could be gay, try to discover the truth in a discrete manner.

It could be your friends are trying to protect you from falling in love with someone who, might not feel the same way about you.

You said you haven’t noticed anything strange in his behavior, so I really don’t see a good reason for you to worry. A relationship is based on trust, and if you already have doubts about him, your relationship may be doomed.

Put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if you knew your guy was questioning your sexuality. My sincere advice is don’t take it too seriously. Even if your friends give you a convincing argument, there’s always the chance that they’re wrong.

Friends are a double edged sword in a relationship, and it’s up to you to determine the relevance of their opinions. But above all, you’re the one who is involved with that guy, so you’re the only one who has the last word on that issue.

Sincerely,

Vania Quiroz