Simply Stated

by Simpson students

Ok, we get it, we’re in college now… so why can’t we (upper-classmen included) sit with members of the opposite sex at Pfeiffer? C’mon now, we don’t have cooties!

-Supposedly acting like high-schoolers

My girlfriend goes to college down southeast and I can’t see her in like forever. I am curious, are these recent articles on sex out to get me or what?

-Mr. Frustrated.

I wonder, am I the only one bored at parties on the weekend? Or is sitting in my room ignored and bored after trying to have a converstation natural?

-Curious Observer

(RE: Wknd 142A: The Basics of Shacking)

…really???? Is this what college is all about and what your parents and my tax money is being spent on? There are so many other topics you could expand on to really be of help to a fellow student, shame on you…

-Jane Doe

(RE: Wknd 142A: The Basics of Shacking)

In response to Jane Doe… no, college isn’t all about shacking, but if you’ve been reading the back of the Simpsonaian, there are some naive first-year students out there who have never heard of shacking. It happens whether in college or not.


God bless the Indianola Redemption Center. Taking cans there instead of the grocery stores saves me so much time, which I can then spend creating more empties. Keep up the good work, Spence!

-The Fire House