Laundry Day

Laundry Day

by Rob Stewart

Well, it’s that time of the month again, laundry day.

I know this because all my clothes look and smell like I stolethem from a corpse.

You know it because you have most likely seen me around campussporting the shell of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costume, circa1991, plus a shirt and leather chaps to complete the ensemble.

I am sure most of you who witnessed this unfortunate fashionmoment assumed I was some manner of crazed vagrant.

You were partially correct.

I was, in truth, simply pressed for time and out ofquarters.

However, I don’t believe that I am alone in this sad andsomewhat hygiene-deficient situation.

I believe this to be the plight of the average collegestudent.

Caught in a blizzard of classes, homework, activities and asocial life, when does one find time to do laundry?

Where does one procure the necessary funds?

The first of these questions seems simple but is indeed rathercomplex, at least for the purposes of this article.

Where does one find the time to do laundry?

Whenever you can, right?


The correct answer is 3 a.m. on a Sunday night, when the onlyremaining clothing option for Monday morning is a barrel wornfashionably about the torso and secured firmly with shoulderstraps.

Why is it that most college students only seem to have time todo their laundry during the wee hours of the morning or some otherequally inconvenient hour? Some are busy people with a multitude ofthings to do, but I suspect the majority simply spend most of theirtime playing Snood until the radiation emanating from the computerscreen melts their face.

The second question is equally as difficult to answer. For mostcollege students, money does not grow on trees (pardon theclich����), with the exception of that kid whose dad owns themoney tree farm.

So, how do the rest of us retain the necessary funds to dolaundry when so many tasty treats can be purchased from a vendingmachine sitting mere feet from the washer and dryer?

Obviously, the money cannot come from the precious beer or pizzafunds, so it must come from somewhere else.

The text book fund is always a good choice, or the Christmaspresents for your family fund seems to be a popular substitute.

Regardless of when you do your laundry or how you pay for it, ithas to be done.

It is a right of passage moment that helps you mature into aself-sufficient adult.

However, as I have fallen backwards onto my faux turtle shelland can’t get up, I’m just going to call my mom and have her doit.