Simply Stated

by Simpson student body

Dear Die Hard,

You Rock! Especially that scene on the roof.

~Homer

P.S. – Do you know Mad Max?

Homer

-They’re after me! They’re after me!

~Who’s after you?

-The squirrels…they think I’m nuts.

Darth Carthus

Drop the act Mad Crapper. We know who you are Stefan!

sxkll9

Could someone please tell me what that nauseating odor is thatseems to radiate near College Hall?

Olfactory-offended

It is not the content of “sex” that is bothersome in thearticles; it’s the overabundance of the sex articles and the tactthat is used in writing them.

-Simpson Alum & Staff Member

Simpson Alum & Staff Member

Admissions Counselor

Office of Admissions

Do people not realize that there is a sex columnist on the Simpthis year? She will write nothing else but sex-related articles. Asfor the overabundance of the sex articles: that is simplyinaccurate. There are only two sections of the paper that arerelated to such thing: Laura’s column and He Said/She Said. Therest of the paper covers everything else but that. Ninety-fivepercent of the paper covers issues that appeal to the Simpsoncommunity. Again, as one of our writers clearly stated last week,it is the subject that is bothering people. This is college people;come to grips with the fact that you’ll see more sex articles inthe future.

Simp. staff member