Simply Stated

by Simpson Student Body

To Flounder- we appreciated the oranges…you’ve got some realtact going there. And as for the girls at Simpson, they probablylove to party, just not with you. I mean, someone who throws fruitat random people out of stupidity, who knows what could happen whenyou’re drunk, you could start throwing dairy products for all Iknow…


How come the girls at Simpson don’t know how to party? Man thechicks here are lame. Plus shantytown is a joke. Enjoyoranges???


News Flash:

It was reported yesterday that the infamous pirate Matt Moraincommandeered himself a new ship (The Black Squirrel).

When asked for a comment, Matt responded: “Ye best be believingin ghost stories Simpson College. You’re in one”.

Pres. of the Matt Morain Fan Club

West-sider: As if you were really shopping at Goodwill. You weretrying to park closer to something on that side of campus. Ifeveryone tried to park at Goodwill because they were too lazy towalk a little further, then nobody would ever be able to shop atGoodwill. Simpson has an obligation to protect that lot for thatbusiness. It’s a fact that Simpson has more parking per person thanalmost every other campus in Iowa. This is a college campus, expectto have to walk more than 20 feet.

Quit whining

$525 for books and ONLY $67 back! This problem has obviouslygotten worse. No wonder our society is so uneducated.


Thanks Simpson College for really caring. I appreciated beingwoken up and having to listen to the “shinglers” on top ofWashington during finals. Who’s the idiot who scheduled this weekfor the work?? Does the 24 quiet hour rule not apply to this?? Wellit should!!

Tired & upset with a headache

I like pie.


I think we should all just be friends. No more of this arguingstuff. Let’s all sit down and have some punch and pie and get alongfor once.


Hey Luc-the tennis star, when we play our one-on-one to thescore of one, why must you always get your butt kicked? When weplay five on five you better step it up and play defense.

Tu Madre