For a number of years, men and women have gone beyond thephysiological and anatomical scheme to better understand thedifference between the two sexes. So far, none of the sexes havebeen successful in figuring out why men are so different from womenand vice versa.
In my attempts to help each of the sexes better understand eachother, I interviewed an equal number of guys and gals asking themabout their frustrations with each other, on both social and sexualoccasions.
After realizing the most common problem from both sexes, I askedmy interviewees what it was exactly they found most annoying abouteach sex.
“They [girls] never tell you what they really want,” said seniorBrent Harberts.
Senior Kirk Vagts said on behalf of men, “They [girls] always goaround issues instead of confronting them. They allude.”
While girls are said to be mysterious about their feelings,here’s what some of them found aggravating about guys.
“They are insensitive,” said senior Abby Sinclair.
Are men really as insensitive as some women make them to be orare they labeled insensitive because they don’t always payattention to the constant nagging of their girlfriends? Or is itthat women are on a lookout for a “Sensitive New Age Guy.”
In his recent article, Lawrence Mitchell, relationshipcorrespondent for AskMen.com, said, “The problem is not that we[men] are insensitive. The problem is that we differ with women onwhat we need to be sensitive about. Some things just blatantly donot merit the amount of attention and energy our women demand ofus. Some things are better left alone, only to slide off the backand slip away into oblivion.”
As the battle continues, women continue to throw their punchesat men.
“They don’t call back,” said senior Morgan Dredge.
This is, indubitably, the most dreaded of all things. After areally perfect date or the day after a night of bliss, when thephone rings, most women hope that it’s “him.” Some even go severaldays still hoping that it’s “him,” but if he doesn’t call, anotherlabel is implanted upon the male specie.
But do guys even mean it when they say, “I’ll call you?”
“If I say ‘I’ll call you,’ I really mean that and girls shouldlearn to do that too,” said senior Jeremy Scott.
“No, I don’t always mean it,” said senior Adam Christy.”Sometimes they [girls] make you say you will.”
Some guys innocently stated, “Sometimes they don’t expect you tocall,” said senior Troy Arkema.
According to Bradley Gerstman, Christopher Pizzo and RichardSeldes, authors of The New York Times bestseller “What Men Want,”when men say, “I’ll call you,
that’s just it-They don’t know what they mean at the time. Menare very insecure when it comes to women. When a man says ‘I’llcall you,’ all it means is that he will think about calling, hemight call or he might not call. Most often a man’s fear ofrejection overtakes him and forces him to chicken out. He may thinkthat she wasn’t interested or that she won’t remember him.”
I asked each of them how they would respond to the most awkwardmoment when their partners say, “I love you” at a moment when theyaren’t ready to say it back.
Here’s what each sex had to say:
“I’d just say, ‘you’re cool,'” said junior Michael Prescott.
“I’d simply say ‘thanks’ and change the subject,” senior JulieKock said.
Senior Josh August said, “I’d explain to her: To me that meansspending the rest of your time together. When you explain what thatinterprets to you; it makes it better.”
As college-aged students, it is widely understood that guys andgals tend to get playful with the opposite sex or sometimes withthe same-sex. Flirting and teasing become part of the game andsometimes feelings get hurt.
I engaged in conversation with some of my interviewees aboutwhere the line is drawn between flirting and teasing.
“I think teasing is mean, especially when the other person wantssomething,” said Prescott.
Dredge said, “It’s fun to feel people are interested inyou.”
“I hate that. It’s never good,” said August. “It’s easy forgirls to do it but not for guys.”
Senior Briege Creelman said, “Teasing is fine as long as nobodygets hurt.”
Teasing and flirting: Are they same or are they different?
“To me, teasing happens by the way; it’s not meant to be andflirting has an added level of intent,” said Arkema.
“Flirting is innocent,” said Christy.
“Teasing is getting more physical,” said Kock.
“…and flirting is more like playing around,” said Scott.
As it seems, this battle of the sexes is ongoing. Are the twosexes ever going to understand each other and live harmoniouslywithout getting annoyed with each other?
For that to happen, “They [girls] need to remember we’re guysand we don’t always get their games,” said Arkema. “So, they needto help us out. They contradict themselves, you get confused andthen you’re suddenly in trouble. A level of clarity would begreat.”
Final words from some of the girls:
o Guys need to stop scratching their nuts in public. It’s reallydisgusting.
o They need to learn how to treat people.
o Stop being so concerned about what other people think; girlswent through that in middle school.
o Taking a girl out is not picking her up from the bar.
o Stop being so cliquey.