He Said/She Said

He Said/She Said–

My girlfriend and I have been dating for four months, and nowValentine’s Day is just around the corner. We had planned oncelebrating together and exchanging little gifts but now she claimsthat she doesn’t want to anymore. We’ve never fought and we’venever had a problem like this up until now, what does it mean? Doesshe want to exchange Valentine’s Day gifts? Does she just want toskip over the holiday entirely? This situation has left mescratching my head. If I get her something and she really doesn’twant to celebrate then I would feel like an ass for overexertingmyself. If I don’t get her something and she was just saying thatshe didn’t want to celebrate then I’d still look like an ass forbeing empty handed. What should I do? What does she really meanwhen she says that she doesn’t want to celebrate?

~The Last Sensitive Guy on Campus

Caution! When your girlfriend doesn’t want to celebrateValentine’s Day there’s trouble in paradise. You wrote that youhave not fought or had any problems until now; well you have andthis is her way of letting you know. Since you had plans and shecancelled them, ask her why. Find out what she wants to do in lieuof your original plans. If she wants to ignore the holidaycompletely, and without reason, then you pissed her off and shemight be considering dumping you. If you want to stay with her thenyou have a lot of damage control to do and you better get startedin T-Minus-Now.

If she wants to be with you, but doesn’t want to exchange giftsthen you are in less trouble and maybe even okay. There are a fewreasons she might not want to exchange gifts. Maybe she’s low oncash, maybe she thinks the commercialism of Valentine’s Daycheapens your love, who knows? Either way, don’t worry aboutexerting yourself. When dealing with girlfriends and presents it isbest to err on the side of caution. Go the extra mile and earn somebrownie points. Be creative and do something special. A giftdoesn’t have to expensive to be meaningful.


Here’s the game plan: get her two gifts and one sweet card. Makesure the presents are wrapped and the card signed by the 13th. Getone larger gift and one smaller, yet thoughtful gift. When the 14throlls around you’ll be prepared for whatever hair-brained schemeshe’s thought up-this way when she changes her mind again you’ll beready no matter what.

Okay, now to solve the problem. I think that it’s very common,if not normal, for a girl to change her mind at least a half dozentimes through out the course of a few days-this seems to be thecase you’ve come across. There could be a number of differentreasons that she changes her mind the way she does. The list ofpossibilities could go something like this: “I have no money andI’m ashamed,” “I made other plans with my ‘man-haters’ club thatweekend,” or the ever-popular “I’m washing my hair.”

On a serious note she could be broke and just doesn’t want youto know, or know how to tell you. But, more than likely this is awoman-like ploy to see how you react to the “playing hard toget/being a pain in your ass” routine.

I’d say ask her about it, but more than likely you’re stillgoing to get, “I just want to spend time with you, that’s all Iwant for Valentine’s Day.” (In this case, keep the chuckle toyourself and just get her a random bouquet of flowers or finediamonds-whatever is in your price range.) If she really hasnothing to say just stick with the game plan (featured earlier inthis column), you can always use the left-over gifts as “justbecause” presents later on. I’d say at least go with a card, and ifyou really want to score extra points make it yourself with ahandwritten love note on the inside-any gifts that are handmade orinclude the word “karat” usually score big.

I’d just like to send out a personal thank you for being one ofa few “good men” left on this campus.

Best of luck to you and yours, happy Valentine’s Day!