Dear He Said/She Said

I’ve been dating this girl for a while and everything has beenpretty good until recently. I met this other girl and she’sfantastic. She’s everything I want in a girl and more. My problemis, how do I break up with my girlfriend? We’ve been together for along time and I don’t want to break her heart. Any suggestions?

-Don’t Wanna Break Her Heart

Are you sure you’re not just infatuated with this new girl?Don’t sacrifice a good relationship on an impulse. But, if you’vegiven it some thought and really want to break up with yourgirlfriend to pursue this new girl- here are a few things youshould remember so you can come out looking and feeling like adecent person.

Do it in person. Be honest with her and be patient. Break upwith her in person. After a relationship of any substantial lengthan instant message or phone call does not suffice. Don’t lie aboutwhy you are breaking up with her. It might be easier in the momentto rely on the old, it’s not you it’s me routine, but if this newgirl goes to Simpson your soon-to-be ex will probably see you andher around and figure it out.

Being broken up with and lied to just adds insult to injury. Bepatient with both showing off your new relationship and in tryingto be friends with your ex. Try and avoid bringing your new flameto your old haunts. I’m not saying stay inside and hide your newgirl but be sensitive to your ex’s feelings at least for awhile.Your ex-girlfriend will be mad at you, especially if you arebreaking up with her for someone else. Don’t try to be her friendright away. It’s a bad idea for newly broken-up couples to try andbe friends quickly anyway but especially in your circumstances.

Good Luck,

-Rob

I think that this is the stupidest question ever- you’re goingto break her heart regardless of how much care you take in sayingthose fatal words, “I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

Be direct and to the point. Don’t dance around the subject andlead her on- just tell her that you’ve found someone else. There’sno way to sugar-coat this that will make her feel any better aboutit. The fact you’re dumping her for someone else makes it evenworse-you’re trading in the old girlfriend for a new one. Thisisn’t like up-grading your computer, this situation involves realpeople and real feelings.

Just grow a set and get it over with- be prepared for the factthat you’ll probably be the most hated guy within her group offriends for at least the next two months.

To the poor girl whose heart will soon be torn out:

My heart goes out to you. I wish you the best of luck whenworking through this situation. Just remember that if he’s dumpingyou for someone else he isn’t worth a second look, and he didn’tcare enough about you in the first place. The fact that your shoeswill instantly be filled as soon as you’re separated is enough tomake any girl irate. Don’t hesitate to lash out irrationally, cryfor hours on end, or even date your ex’s best friend just to getback at him. You have every reason to be mad… he traded you infor a newer model, an up-graded version of you that he liked alittle better; I hope you don’t mind me saying, “What a jerk! Goodriddance!”

Good luck with your new single life! I wish you the best of luckin finding the perfect guy for you, just don’t forget to ask if he”up-grades” often!

-Andrea