Dear He Said/She Said

by Rob Stewart, Andrea McNamara

Dear He Said/She Said

I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 4months and I love her to death, but I can’t help but notice theendless amount of phone calls she receives from random guys(including her ex). Some of these guys have even asked her outafter she told them that we were dating. What should I do? Is thisreally a big deal, or am i making it into more than what it is? Westill spend a lot of time together and people know that we’redating, but the calls never stop. Help!

~Tired of Playing Operator

I can understand why your situation makes you uncomfortable,worried and jealous but try and keep some perspective.

If she isn’t encouraging these phone calls from “random guys” orgiving her number out to new guys then she can’t be heldresponsible for them calling her. Even though you spend a lot oftime with your girlfriend not everyone on campus will see the twoof you together and even if they do, many will not automaticallyassume that you’re a couple. She can’t be held responsible for someguy in one of her classes thinking she’s cute and looking her up inthe Password or on our college Web site. Instead of dwelling on thenumber of guys who call your girlfriend focus on the fact that sheturns them all down.

If she insists that her and her ex are just friends and aregoing to stay just friends then there is not a whole lot you can doabout that. Women don’t take kindly to their boyfriends tellingthem who they can and can’t talk to. If the relationship with herex moves beyond friendship then you have grounds to take action.However, at that point the only morally and legally acceptablecourse of action would be to break up with her. You’ll just have totrust that she’s with you because she wants to be; or you couldaccidentally break her phone.

Good Luck,

~Rob

 

I know that this has to be bothersome for you as her boyfriend,it’s not easy to watch others swoon over that which is “yours,” butI would say that you need to take this seemingly never endingstream of phone calls as a compliment.

First of all, you’re dating someone who is obviously attractiveto many other guys and second of all she is completely committed toyou even with the relentless phone calls. I would say that unlessyour girlfriend’s commitment to you becomes a problem, you have noreal reason to worry.

It is very apparent to me that your girlfriend is very committedto you if she is not only spending time with you but also turningdown a host of guys because she’s with you.

Instead of wasting time worrying about your girlfriend’s randomadmirers, use that time to realize and develop the wonderfulrelationship that you have in front of you.

~Andrea