He said/ She said

by Andrea McNamara and Rob Stewert

Dear HS/SS,

I am a graduating senior, and I am in a “sort-of” relationshipwith this freshman. She is really great, but I don’t think I amready to get committed with her. I think we are at two differentstages in our lives and I am not sure she can understand that mylife will soon consist of work, business meetings and sleep…herswill still be class, sleep til noon, frat parties and randomdrunken nights. Do I need to end this now or try to make it work.Maybe she can grow up for me.

– Lost in relationship confusion

She’s a freshman, you already have one foot out the door and youconsider this a “sort-of” relationship? I guess I don’t understandwhy you would consider continuing to date this girl.

Are you worried that she will be upset if you break up? Shemight be in the short-term, but if she wants her life to consist ofgoing to class, sleeping till noon, going to frat parties andgetting randomly drunk as you implied that she does, then you’ll bedoing her a favor. Just like high school and college relationshipscan be too big of an age/maturity gap so can relationships betweencollege-aged adults and work-a-day world grown-ups. Besides, shemight not be upset. It’s quite likely that she anticipated thatgetting involved with a graduating senior, especially when she hasthree years of college left, would be a short-term romance.

You are going to have quite a few uncertainties in your lifesoon: where are you going to live? Where are you going to work? Andshe has three years of college experiences left to experience.Don’t let her miss out on making college memories, whatever theymay be, if are not serious about her or your relationship.

~ Rob

You need to be the one here to figure out what’s going on andtake control. Just because your girl isn’t going to be out in the”working world” like you doesn’t mean that she’s not grown up. Youseem concerned about her sleeping habits as well as her socialcircle, but why don’t you give her a chance? If she’s serious aboutyou then she will find a way to make this work. Chances are ifshe’s mature enough to be dating a senior then she’s mature enoughto make the right decisions when it comes to you and yourrelationship. If you’re into her and you think that you have achance of making this person your one and only then let things workthemselves out. You shouldn’t have to try to make a relationshipwork, it should just make sense and work itself out.

Though I have a feeling that your situation would eventuallywork itself out, you seem hesitant in your writing. If thisrelationship is only “sort-of” a relationship, then what is itreally? Is she the person that takes care of you when you come homedrunk? Is she just the person that you spend your nights with? Iguess I don’t know what kind of a relationship this is that youspeak of, but if you’re not ready to make a real commitment to thisgirl then do her a favor and give her a call when you get your lifefigured out. Don’t waste her time just because you’re scared aboutgraduation and what challenges it will bring to you.

Congratulations Graduate, just be sure to get your ducks in arow before you skip town and leave a broken heart behind.

– Andrea