Dear He Said/She Said

by Rob Stewart and Andrea McNamara

My ex-boyfriend has been calling me a lot lately and wants toget back together. Even though we’ve been broken up for quiteawhile I’m not over him yet and would love to be with him again.The problem is that we had a terrible relationship. I still lovehim so much though and I know it sounds stupid but I think thistime might be different. What should I do?

-Second Time’s the Charm

I know the temptation to get back together with an ex can bevery strong; heck everybody knows that.

Whether this desire is based on your history together,attraction to one another, some residual emotional attachment youmay have or simply the comforting familiarity of your oldrelationship; don’t go running back just yet. Relationships end fora reason and it sounds like you recognized that yours did just thatwhen you wrote “we had a terrible relationship”.

It sounds like you are just not over your ex quite yet. Nowideally I would say time heals all wounds and I would recommendthat you hang out with your friends, stay busy and try to focus onother things while you deal with your heartache.

However, if that doesn’t or hasn’t worked for you then my nextsuggestion would be for you to get out there and date.

Some people say the best way to get over an old love is to get anew one.

I’m not saying you have to get into another serious relationshipright away but maybe dating some other guys and having some funwould help you get over your ex and who knows maybe one of thosedates could lead to a not “terrible relationship.”

Good luck.

-Rob

You’ve shared a lot of great moments and probably even shared alot of “firsts,” as wonderful as those times may seem you have toremember that you broke up for a reason.

I believe that people can change, for better or worse, so Iwould tell you to use your best judgment. Only you know what yourpast relationship was like and only you can gauge how much your exhas changed.

If you really feel like you can put the pieces of your brokenhearts back together then I say give it a shot, but take yourtime.

You’re not in a hurry to nab this guy off the market, you knowhim and you know that he still loves you so there’s no reason torush into anything.

Take the time to rediscover what you first had together and takethis opportunity to really enjoy your relationship.

But please don’t get caught up in all of this “re-discoveredlove” bliss, keep in mind what made you split in the firstplace.

Be on the look out for the traits you couldn’t stand andremember to take a stand when you’re un-happy.

Good luck with your “re-found” love and be sure to keep yourhead about you when getting wrapped up in “Spring Flings!”

-Andrea