He Said… She Said

by James Joy and Mindy Marks

I’m a freshman and just got to campus not too long ago. Everyonehere seems so friendly and inviting – I don’t know if I even likemy boy from back home anymore. I know that we started dating for areason, but that was a year ago and I don’t even know why we’redating sometimes. Just last week I was invited to a party offcampus by a bunch of guys; they fed me drinks all night and werereally easy to talk to and understanding about my boyfriend backhome. Should I stay with my boyfriend from home, or explore whatSimpson has to “offer?” Will I regret breaking it off with myboyfriend if I do it now?

He says…

If it is guidance you are looking for, it’s guidance you willget.

You obviously had feelings at one time for your boyfriend, butit seems that your desire for him left when you did.

At your age, it would be healthy to meet new people and not stayin a relationship that you are unhappy with.

You must weigh your feelings, but if the cloud of doubt is asbig as it seems, then you already know the answer to yourquestion.

Relationships with high-school sweethearts are usuallyshort-lived, especially when those sweethearts go two differentways.

Distance and new friends change each person’s perspective. Ifyou were deeply in love, you wouldn’t be questioning yourrelationship.

It is hard to tell if you will regret the breakup or not, but itsounds inevitable that it will happen. Enjoy college and meetingnew people because your time here will fly while you’re havingfun.

– James Joy

She says…

Three years ago I was in a similar relationship situation. MammaMarks offered some surprisingly good — yet cheesy – advice. Shetold me we’d either grow together or grow apart when we werediscovering who we’d become at different colleges.

Like most 18-year-olds, I knew everything and blew this adviceoff. Yet just weeks before school began I found myself single. AndI was perfectly content once I got to college. Some of my friendshad significant others back home- and talked for hours on the phoneat night while everyone else was hanging out and developing newfriendships.

If you do choose to explore other options: first, stay away fromthe guys feeding you beer, and second, end your relationshipproperly.

It sounds like you’re already having a few doubts. The newenvironment, friends, classes, extracurricular activities, perhapsa part-time job and long-distance relationship may eventually getstressful. If you’re both still willing and eager to work on yourrelationship, then that’s wonderful! If not, bow outgracefully.

– Mindy Marks