He said… She said…

I live a little way off campus and I walk to my 8 am class everyMonday, Wednesday and Friday. I pass by an open bathroom windoweach morning where I can’t help but notice a hot naked guy towelingoff after his shower. I never see him on campus but my friends sayhe’s a student here … so how do I meet him?

And what do I say – I can’t really knock on his door to tell himI think he’s cute. Even if I do meet him accidentally, I can’t say,”Oh, you’re that guy I see naked in the morning.” But I desperatelywant to meet him… I think I might be in love! Any ideas?

He says

Take a long cold shower because wondering if you love the victimof your Peeping-Tom activities is getting ahead of yourself.

Love isn’t found on the naked backside of a man behind an alleywindow. Hopefully you understand that you’re invading hisprivacy.

It is obvious that you want to meet him so you have to find away to initiate that meeting. Secretly following him and learninghis schedule is border-line stalking, so you must find a way toexpress your intentions to him. Remember, for most men you canachieve this with a simple smile in their direction.

Obviously you know where he lives, so a chance meeting when heis leaving his house is easily achieved. You don’t have to tell himimmediately that you were a fan of his, but he should be told ifyou begin a relationship.

Simpson is a close-knit campus, so seeing him at a campus eventis also highly possible. Either way, it will rely on you toinitiate the meeting. So you can wait for fate and a chance meetingor make it happen for yourself.

She says

Wow … so what’s his address? Just kidding.

No need to fear, winter is right around the corner and soonhe’ll be shutting his windows. Use your stalking tendencies forgood and find out what he’s interested in or what he does in hisfree time. That’s a far safer way to meet him and find out what thetwo of you have in common – if anything.

Love is something that develops over time and not by being aPeeping Tom. Your case of “love” sounds more like hard-corelust.

Let’s put this “love” into perspective: You love broccoli.Chances are the first time you tried broccoli you didn’t love it,but maybe you liked it with cheese sauce. Through your ups anddowns in life broccoli has been by your side and you’ve grown tolove broccoli, but it didn’t happen overnight or by just looking atit. Now, if you overdo it on the broccoli it’s just a completelydifferent story.

If all else fails, take a new route to class and enjoy the fallcolors instead of gawking at your fall crush.

NICK PROCTOR

ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF HISTORY

It appears your Hot Naked Man is some sort of exhibitionist, soif you relish a future rich with “clothing optional” events, nudebeaches, and weekly body waxing sessions then you should strip offyour clothes and caper around outside his bathroom window so he canget a good look at you. At first this will seem awkward, but youneed to get used to it – especially once he gets that webcam hookedup. Soon people everywhere will be tired of looking at, nottouching, both of you at naughtyville.com!