He Said… She Said

by James Joy and Mindy Marks

It’s “Suddenly Single” again, and I was just wondering what, in your opinion, is the best way to get over an ex? It’s been a couple weeks now and I’m getting back into the swing of things, but I’m still eating comfort food and heavily relying on my friends for support. How do I get back on my feet?

He says…

You need to drop the comfort foods and replace them with something healthier. Accept who you are, and appreciate yourself. Go out and spend some time with your friends, and over time the feelings about your ex will pass. Eventually, you’ll laugh that you even asked how to get over him.

The key thing is to learn from this breakup and figure out what worked and what didn’t so you can make better choices the next time. Was he the same type of guy that you’re always attracted to, but the relationship ended like this for many of the same reasons your previous ones have? If so, then you need to look at other types of people to date. Different personalities and interests might be the change you need to find a long-lasting relationship.

There was a time in your life when you weren’t with your ex, so what did you enjoy doing then? Revisit those times and the things that made you happy – you might find something that takes your mind away from him and helps you to move on.

She says…

A lot of times relationships take us away from hobbies we love, clubs we used to be a part of or friendships that need some rekindling. If you’re suddenly faced with extra time, pay attention to your inner urge to go spelunking or to learn to crochet. There’s something out there for everyone and you can’t feel low when you see the positive impact you have on others.

Don’t feel bad for relying on your friends. That’s what they’re there for and I’m sure you’ll repay the favor when they need your assistance.

As for the comfort food – now and then we all love a doughnut, but not around the midsection. Remember good nutrition affects your body shape, but it also contributes to your health and well-being.

It’s like being an architect. You spend all of your time and energy on this one great design, but the company rejects it. You’re not a bad architect, but you just need time to further develop your talents and find a company that will appreciate them.




The voice of reason says…

If you’re getting back in the swing of things, you’re doing well. It sounds like you’re coping. It’s OK to lean on friends when you go through difficult times. Hanging out with friends is much better than isolating yourself.

If the relationship is over, then accept it and move on. Figure out what you can learn from the relationship – the breakup is an opportunity to grow.

The best way to get over an ex is to live your life well. Seize the opportunity to become your own person. Find the upside of the situation: You don’t have to consult a significant other else when making plans. Give yourself time to make healthy choices for your life. If all else fails and you cannot escape the funk of a breakup, wearing a great pair of jeans and boots can be a great confidence builder.