He Said…She Said

by Mark Pleiss and Mindy Marks

I’m a sophomore looking for advice. I’ve been talking to this guy upstairs for quite some time. He’s been my friend through some really tough times, and recently we started sleeping together. Not dating, just sleeping together. I’ll never date him. What should I do? He’s head over heels for me and I don’t want to lose him as a friend. Help!

-A friend that has benefited

He said – Your situation is undoubtedly a unique one. I usually see this with young men, not so much young women. All men will agree; third-wave feminism rocks. But let’s not get sidetracked. We’re here to help.

Essentially you have two options. You can continue your ways until you reach the point of complete dissatisfaction – which will happen. My best guess is that there will be some dramatic climax where you’ll never talk to him again. You’ll get more physical satisfaction this way though, which seems to be all you want. Or you can tell him the truth – which you probably won’t do because you would have already done it – and try to salvage whatever you can from the relationship. This decision most likely depends on how long you two have been knockin’ boots.

Now, I’m not a girl, glad too. The unique chemical components of the female body not only perplex me, but frankly, scare me. Remember that whatever happens, it will probably be a thousand times worse for you because men are incapable of the emotional pain women feel. Nevertheless, you could make him very angry, and he’ll probably never want to see you again. Oops.

She Said – Do you feel like he was your friend because he liked you or because he truly wanted to be your friend?

Sometimes the lines get blurred and women innocently think that men have the purest intentions.

It’s time to look to the classic romantic comedy “When Harry Met Sally” for advice. In this movie, Harry addresses the issue of the persistent sexual tension in male/female friendships and says men and women can’t be friends. Whether you agree or disagree with that statement is irrelevant because you already know that a guy who is head over heels for you isn’t solely interested in friendship.

Long story short, it’s not fair to lead him on if you know he has feelings for you and you’re just interested in instant gratification. If you both have different priorities then it’s time to discuss them.

Having sex with a friend is like being pale and not wearing sunscreen. You can’t resist the beautiful day, but you know you’re going to get burnt later. Maybe the sunburn will heal or maybe you’ll feel the long-term effects of the sun, either way don’t forget your sun block.



Let’s get one thing straight: that’s not really sleep. Anyway, let’s get right to the heart of this dilemma. You may be enjoying the physical benefits of your “relationship” at the moment, but in the long run you’re only subjecting yourself to more pain by continuing to “sleep” with this guy. Secondly, if he doesn’t want a friendship after you stop, then he really wasn’t a friend to begin with. Believe it or not, men will say anything to get in your pants.By ending this arrangement, you’re opening the door to real love. When you find the right guy, the benefits of that relationship will be much better.