I am graduating in just a few weeks – that thought in and of itself is enough to make anyone want to vomit – but I’m leaving my girlfriend here. I don’t know if she would cheat on me. But I do know that we’ve had a really rocky year and I don’t know if it’s going to last for the duration, especially with me away. What should I do? I don’t think she’s the one, but maybe she is. I need some really serious advice. If I stay with her will she expect a ring soon?

-Growing up or growing apart?

He Said:

You have a pretty interesting relationship if you had a rocky year, have doubts about your future and are still wondering about marriage.

Think about the national divorce rate, step back, take a breath and reevaluate your situation.

You just finished college.

You have your whole life ahead of you, and you’re worried about a girl you’re in a seemingly dismal relationship with. Forget about her.

Go forward with your life and relish what’s up and coming. Move on.

Don’t stay pinned to the area for her unless you really know she’s the one.

And then still question it.

Otherwise you’ll stay here for her, and when it falls apart, you’ll be completely out of luck. Or, worse, you’ll go away and worry about her every day.

I’m afraid the least painful option involves the Band-Aid-removal method. If you regret it, I’d be surprised.

She Said:

Graduation – tear. Graduation involves change and severing ties, which is never easy, but add a significant other to the mix and it really sucks.

While technology is on your side, it sounds like you already have doubts. If you don’t trust her, you’re doomed. A relationship without trust is like a car without tires, it’s not going anywhere.

Unless you’ve decided to settle down in the exotic locale of Indianola, you’re going to start a long-distance relationship.

You’re venturing out into a world where you have to actually use your alarm clock, follow a dress code and go to bed before the sun comes up. As much as we’re all looking forward to this “adventure,” it’s different than college, so you and your girlfriend may be at two different places in your lives. If you have serious doubts, end it now, have fun during May term and find a job.

Life is like the food at Pfieffer, you never know what’s on your plate – eat up.

TODD LIEBER

PROFESSOR OF ENGLISH

No one can tell you how to play this. You’re just going to have to live it through, and, however it turns out, the next year isn’t going to be any fun. I will say this, though. Unless you’re pretty certain you want to marry this girl – and it sure doesn’t sound that way – don’t give her a ring whether she expects one or not.

And if you get lonely and jealous during the next year, don’t mistake that for love. Wait until the two of you have once again had an opportunity for something other than a long-distance relationship before you make any lifetime commitments.