I am sick of certain individuals ruining my good time on Friday nights.

Really I am.

Someone is always puking on my shoe … or my arm, or my floor, or anything in my vicinity.

It’s not just on the Simpson campus. No, I’ve been puked on by students on a variety of campuses. One friendly drunk just hurled on my arm outside of a bar at Drake.

It’s also not just freshmen who are trying to adjust to their new freedom.

These individuals are what I like to call repeat offenders, aka upperclassmen. They know their limit and yet they continue to push it. Now, not every upperclassman is a repeat offender, but those who are have become obnoxious.

I happen find someone hurling on my shoe obnoxious.

Maybe I’m just anal like that. But I’m thinking not.

I feel I can safely say most people don’t like to clean vomit off their shoes, something I recently had the pleasure of finding out.

Many of us get loose lips when we’ve been drinking, but sometimes they get too loose. Verbal spewing is often just as embarrassing, offending and messy as the literal act.

Last year a hammered classmate of mine spilled her guts to me at a party. She tried to apologize the next day but I just laughed it off because the previous night had been so funny.

What’s not funny is that person hasn’t stopped apologizing or drinking in huge excess.

Every time I see her out partying she covers her face with her hand and tells me how sorry she is that she did that, drawing attention and making a fuss. I’ve found that “sorry,” unlike alcohol, loses its potency when it’s abused.

That’s my name and please don’t wear it out. Unfortunately, when they’re drunk, some people have a tendency to do just that.

Don’t get me wrong, I will do anything for my friends – but if someone calls upon me repeatedly to rescue them from a drunken mistake or I feel that I constantly have to police them, the resentment starts to build.

It puts a strain on the friendship to constantly be put in this position.

And while we’re on the subject of over-indulgence, for those who might be confused: “Booze cruise” doesn’t mean drunk driving.

It means taking a bus, a limo, a cab or some other form of transportation to and from different bars. It means there is a designated driver behind the wheel.

Still some people insist on being the less popular DD, the drunk driver. It’s not very much fun to wait for a call from a friend to make sure they made it to and from their destination unharmed.

Maybe these individuals just don’t get it.

I don’t know – but I do know what alcohol poisoning is.

I don’t need to see any more individuals vomiting all over the place and needing to have their stomachs pumped in order to understand the impact of a few too many. I get it and so do most of the offenders – they’ve done it before.

Thanks to those that have faithfully served to remind me but your services are no longer necessary. Really, thanks.

Additionally, vomiting all over a fraternity, sorority or any other campus housing is disgusting and, if you do it repeatedly, the clean-up is more extensive than the swipe of a Clorox wipe.

Each organization at Simpson works hard to keep things in order. At any college, when things get too messy, higher authorities intervene and the consequences can be pretty heavy. I know everyone’s got to learn their limit, but, for heaven’s sake, don’t be a repeat offender.

No doubt almost anyone with a pulse has pushed it to the limit at one time or another.

My fear is that these behaviors will lead to something much more serious than my ranting if those who push the limit make it a regular habit.

How much is too much?

What are the consequences of pushing the limit?

I think it’s time for everyone to seriously consider these questions, before I have to spend another morning cleaning my shoes.