My girlfriend is great. Everything in our relationship is going fine, but the sex has become boring for me. I love this girl, so do you have any suggestions on how to spice up our sex life?

-Bored

 

The key is variety. You can’t expect sparks to fly when you are with the same person, doing the same routine, in the same location.

Luckily, you are already ahead of the game. Sex can be the most rewarding when it’s shared between two people who love each other. All the ingredients for passion are there, you just need to alter your methods.

For example, a new location can radically recharge your relationship. This could be as innocent as exploring the living room couch or as dangerous as venturing out into public settings…I hear the library is nice this time of year. There are countless locations where a sense of danger can bring all sorts of excitement to your relationship.

Before you start compiling a database of your ultimate fantasies, talk to your girlfriend to discover her comfort level. Don’t blame her for the lack of sparks in the bedroom. Instead, tell her you want to try something new as a fun way to strengthen your connection physically and emotionally. More than likely she’ll be receptive to your ideas and have some steamy thoughts of her own that may even surprise you.

Just remember, you’re not alone. All couples have to work at their relationship to keep things exciting and alive. As you journey down the path of passion, keep things within reason. You want your first time wearing handcuffs to be with her, not Mike from the Indianola precinct.

Ryan Steinbach

 

Your situation is unfortunate but not uncommon. Having been in a long-term relationship myself, I sympathize with your plight. First and foremost, I want to emphasize the importance of communication. In a subtle and caring way, let your partner know that even though she is amazing and means the world to you, you’d like to try something new in the sack.

When you talk to her, come prepared with suggestions. There are a myriad of books out there that specialize in this topic. I’ve also found that, despite it being a women’s magazine, Cosmopolitan is a good source of information on technique and new, fun positions for both men and women.

If at first she’s not open to new ideas, try, try again. Maybe you just need a different approach. I’ve found that everything in life, especially relationships, follows this simple rule: you only get out what you put in. Therefore, be creative. Change up your normal routine by seducing her in the morning or afternoon rather than just before bed. How about a different and slightly risky location? While I don’t recommend your parents’ living room, the excitement of possibly getting caught will definitely get your blood flowing faster.

BE ROMANTIC! Try surprising her with her favorite snack while she’s studying late at Carver. Or spend a couple extra moments styling your hair and putting on the cologne she likes. Trust me, she’ll notice these extra efforts, and she’ll be much more likely to respond favorably to your suggestions. She’ll also be much more likely to put forth a little extra effort herself. When you both give more to the relationship, your sex drives will increase.

Ellie Ankeny