My top 10 ways to procrastinate before finals

by Ellie Ankeny

1. Make to-do lists – Even if you haven’t, it’s not too late to start. Dead week and finals are the best time to do this because you can make a detailed two-week list. When I say detailed, I mean it. Each list should include normal activities, such as showering and all meals. Once you’ve made this list, it’s a good idea to break down the lists by time. For example, entries should read: study history 2 to 4 p.m., Oprah 4 to 5 p.m., Pfeiffer 5 to 5:30 p.m., etc.

2. Facebook and computer games – Update your profile daily, write on every friend’s wall and don’t stop until you’ve reached 500 friends – like you’re really that popular. SNOOD returns! Yes, you may have uninstalled it during midterms but reinstalling it will immediately restore all of your high scores.

3. Clean your room – A perfect idea for messy people. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t seen your floor or really cared all semester long. It’s time to get the vacuum, if you can find it, and go to town. This will kill at least a good hour, but your roommates will thank you. You might even redeem yourself for coming home that one night during midterms and getting sick in the bathroom after eating their birthday cake from Grandma Maxine.

4. Reorganize – Does your underwear seem a little untidy? Well, it’s time to get down to business and refold each item in your drawers. You also might want to consider color-coding your closet.

5. Watch TV/Play Video Games – It’s time to develop a sudden fetish for the Food Network and re-runs of M.A.S.H., or purchase a new video game and proceed to putting every effort into beating it.

6. Study Breaks – Check your e-mail at any point in the day and you will inevitably have five new messages inviting you to another “study break.” If you attend each one of these breaks, I guarantee you will be kept busy each night from 6-10 p.m. You will also most likely be about 10 pounds heavier as each of these breaks revolves around food.

7. Pack – When 3 p.m. on Thursday finally strikes, be ready to hit the road or begin the recreation activity of your choice. You won’t want to worry about packing so you must do this ahead of time.

8. Calculate summer earnings – This is one of my personal favorites. Sit down with the good old calculator and start figuring out how much money you’ll make during your summer employment, and subtract expenses such as food and rent. Once you get your net income, begin fantasizing about the money.

9. Exercise – After all of the study breaks, you’ll start to feel guilty about the pounds you’ve packed on. It’s time to hit the gym and log some miles on the treadmill. If the weather is getting nice, you’ll already be looking for any excuse to get out there and enjoy it.

10. Reorganize again – Time to get serious about your reorganization. While you’re looking at that computer, begin to clean up your desktop and then move on to your documents folder. Perhaps after that file every picture on your computer.

With these tried and true tips, you’ll never have to worry about studying for finals. You’ll successfully procrastinate and, at this rate, you should be able to stretch college into six or seven years and get the most out of your college education.