He Said…She Said

I think my roommate is a bed-wetter. The problem is that I don’t think she wants to admit to it. She stuffs her smelly pajamas in our closet without washing them and never changes her sheets. The smell is becoming unbearable. I don’t want to embarrass her, but I can’t live like this anymore. What do I do?

-Soaked with Frustration

Gross. I’m sure it’s embarrassing enough to be a bed-wetter when you are 10, but imagine being a college student with this problem. What’s interesting is that instead of washing her pajamas, she simply shoves them into the closet. Of course, with what it costs to do a load of laundry, can you blame her? But all jokes aside, this situation is completely awkward.

I think what you need to do right now is find out for sure if your suspicions are correct. Find a time when she isn’t in the room to (possibly wearing gloves) check the items in her closet or her sheets. If they are indeed pee-soaked, I would first make a trip to see someone at Counseling and Career Services. Not that I wouldn’t love to tell you what to do, but these people are actually trained to deal with issues like this one. After you meet with them, it’s possible they will contact your roommate and try to get her some help.

I will also tell you what not to do. Do not directly confront her about it. This will only greatly embarrass her, and you might not be able to make any progress. An intermediary person is the best way to take control. Yeah, it’s weird the way she is trying to cover it up, and it’s really gross, but I think the best situation is just to be sympathetic. Poor girl.

– Mackenzie Webb

Haven’t you ever heard the saying, “If it’s yellow let it mellow?” I think you should just calm down a little bit and fill your room with air fresheners. Really pack them in every last corner, behind picture frames, underneath your microwave, in the battery compartment of your remote, etc. If nothing else, this should give you the chance to show your creative side.

Of course, you need to be proportional to your trouble areas. For every 600 air fresheners you buy (and this would be a minimum in your situation), put 150 in and around her bed and 150 in and around her laundry basket. This will also be a fun game when it’s time to change the air fresheners every few weeks, and you have to go back and find all the ones you hid. It’ll be like your own private Easter-egg hunt, and everyone deserves one of those.

Or, if you hate Easter, you could just start doing her laundry. It will be a race-against-the-clock adventure as you try to wash, dry and put back her laundry all in the short time she leaves the room. You could play some exciting music and really make it exciting for you. This might also increase your agility, which never hurt anyone. Sure this will cost you some money, but friendships are supposed to be priceless. I guess if you can’t spare a few quarters, then maybe your prideful roommate didn’t have the friend she thought she did. I guess you could just confront the situation and talk to her, but who has the time or energy for that?

– Scott Brinkmeyer