He said…She said

He said...She said

by Zachary Robert Rus and Ashley Van AlstinAeStaff Writers

I was at a party, and I got a little drunk. My friends dared me to run outside naked. Just when I was darting from the party across the parking lot, a police officer spotted me and gave me an indecent exposure ticket!!! I don’t have the money to pay for it, so I have to come clean to my parents. What do you think I should tell them?

-Regretful Streaker

First off, congrats on running naked! That’s something many people wish they could do but aren’t ballsy enough to actually go ahead and do it, no pun intended. Honestly I wouldn’t mind a little naked run every now and then. I bet you just felt free. I’m thoroughly impressed with your go get ’em attitude and spunk for life. It’s not everyday that someone is comfortable enough to run nude through the streets.

As for the cops…they can be such kill joys. Everyone’s got one or the other, what’s the big deal right? I mean, eventually everyone will see the opposite sex’s “privates.” It’s part of life. You should be congratulated on your attempt to help educate those who’ve never had the chance. I applaud your efforts.

As for your parents, I believe the only way to explain it to them is from an educational standpoint. Tell them you’re experimenting with your body. Don’t wear clothes at home at all. Yeah it could be weird at first, but if they buy it, you’re golden. They might even pay your ticket for you. It’s all in the name of science.

Nonetheless, since you can’t get away with what I personally consider a freedom, I think you should really look at other outlets for your “need to be nude.” Look into some kind of art stuff. I always see nudey pics in those art books people are carrying around campus. They might as well say porn on the front of the book. Sure they’re considered art, but why can’t you be art? Think about it. The possibilities are endless.

From all of us out there who wish we could show a little skin every now and then but aren’t brave enough, we wish you the best of luck with your endeavors.

-Zachary Robert Rus

I don’t want to laugh, but I can’t image how awkward that must have been when talking to an officer in your birthday suit. I just hope that at some point they allowed you to cover up a little bit. If you had to sit in a cop car with no pants on, the amount of germs that you were exposed to would be far more dangerous than the frostbite you could have gotten from your streaking.

Peer pressure and weekend dares are always a good time. It’s hard to believe doing something as little as a jaunt across the parking lot could end up in trouble. Every college student can relate to doing something and then later looking back and regretting their choices. And being you were at a party you were probably drinking (hopefully legally), which only impairs your good decision making abilities even more. I think these little life journeys not only give us great stories to laugh about later, but builds character as well.

I try not to condone lying. I’m the world’s worst liar and on top of that, if I do pull off the lie, I end up spilling the beans later. So telling the truth is the good and moral thing to do. However, I would not. I think the best thing to do here is, well hmm…what’s the best way to say this? Lie! Tell your parents that you’re having car trouble and you need to have some work done. Or think of something that would apply to your life situation. If you don’t want to lie, maybe go to a sibling or friend who could lend you some cash and not say anything to anyone else.

So looking to the future, you probably won’t do it again, you have learned your lesson, you have a funny story to tell and you now can say you’re an official rebel.

-Ashley Van Alstine